Customer: Are both those tuna?
Deli guy: Yes.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Deli guy: This tuna is chicken.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Kimmy Yo
Customer: Are both those tuna?
Deli guy: Yes.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Deli guy: This tuna is chicken.
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Kimmy Yo
Asian guy: Teddy Roosevelt, there was a man. Out of the days when men could club women over the head and drag them off.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: What I’m saying is — my thesis is — the position I’m taking is — the argument I’m making is — there’s never been a successful matriarchal society.
Asian chick: Hmm.
Asian guy: Byron “The Whizzer” White! He was a man. He could do it all. Feminism is bullshit. That’s what I love about you. I can’t talk like this around most girls.
Asian chick: Hmm.
–Tony’s Di Napoli, 84th & 2nd
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Bags woman: Ladies…Gucci, Prada, Louis! Ladies…
Hot dog guy: Ladies, get your Gucci hot dogs here…Prada hot dogs!
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Lori
Guy: Dude, no one uses “hobo” in a sentence anymore.
–McCoy’s Bar, 9th Avenue
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts.
–Office, East 45th Street
