You Know, After Babe-a-Ganouj Goes Under

Dude: I’d like to invite you to take part in my new venture. I call it Kebabes.
Chick: What is it?
Dude: It’s like a kebab joint but with sexy ladies.

–In line at Quo, 28th & 10th

Overheard by: Anisha & Meg
Headline by: Laura C

Runners-Up:
· But She’s Already Working at Falafellatio – Momolo
· Not for Humusexuals – ndsd1

Honorable Mentions:
· Well, It’s Better Than Kebabies – Matthew H
· Insert Skewer Joke Here….. – Tim White
· That’s Just Falawful – Chris Cunnyngham
· Turkish Delight! – Hobo Whisperer
· They’ve Got Great Hummus, Too – Anonymous
· Meat Marketing? – Xana
· I Knew I Looked Succulent Today… – Sarah

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on May 29, 2006
Bars & Clubs, Food, Headline Contest Winners, Manhattan, Pick-up Lines, Sex & Relationships, Venues

Must Be Last Comic Standing Season

Guy #1: Hey. Is it hailing out?
Guy #2: Hail yeah!
Silence for a few seconds.
Guy #2: I said…
Guy #1: I heard you. Shut up.

–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine & 6th Ave

Overheard by: james clunie

Posted on May 27, 2006
Anger Management, Guys, Manhattan, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village, Topics, Venues, Weather, Words

But Bow Ties Are Back

Thug #1: Yo nigga, what are they wearing in the hood these days?
Thug #2: Nigga, white on white is out!

–Outside Kenneth Cole, 5th & 17th

Posted on May 11, 2006
Clothing, Colors, Fashion, Manhattan, People, Places, Store, Thugs, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

No Wonder It Smells Fowl

Customer: Are both those tuna?
Deli guy: Yes.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Deli guy: This tuna is chicken.

–3rd & Sullivan

Overheard by: Kimmy Yo

Posted on May 11, 2006
Delis, Food, The Village, Venues

He’ll Need The Club Tonight

Asian guy: Teddy Roosevelt, there was a man. Out of the days when men could club women over the head and drag them off.

Asian chick: Hmm.

Asian guy: What I’m saying is — my thesis is — the position I’m taking is — the argument I’m making is — there’s never been a successful matriarchal society.

Asian chick: Hmm.

Asian guy: Byron “The Whizzer” White! He was a man. He could do it all. Feminism is bullshit. That’s what I love about you. I can’t talk like this around most girls.

Asian chick: Hmm.

–Tony’s Di Napoli, 84th & 2nd

Posted on May 7, 2006
Asians, History & Geography, People, Politics, President, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Topics, Upper East Side, Venues, Violence

The NYC Sights of Wednesday One-liners

Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!

–11th Street & 4th Avenue

Overheard by: jayKayEss

Posted on March 29, 2006
Brooklyn, Central Park, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Old People, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Queens, Suits, The Village, Times Square, Tourist Attractions, Travel, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

He Thinks That Means a Blanket

Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on February 6, 2006
College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Education, Favorites, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, People, Places, School, Students, Teachers/Professors, Topics, Venues, Violence

He’s Hung Like a Pigeon

Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.

–Irving Plaza, Irving Place

Overheard by: Johnny Tremain

Posted on January 27, 2006
Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Family Ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Innuendo, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Marriage, People, Places, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sisters, Street, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

Abrasion Might Be a Problem

Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.

–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street

Posted on January 5, 2006
Always Bringing it Back to You!, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, Penis, People, Places, Private Parts, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics, Vagina, Venues

Mr. Pringles is a Murderer in the Eyes of God

Speaker girl: Any questions?
Audience girl: Were you able to find out about how much women paid for the abortion procedures?
Speaker girl: About $200 a pop.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Julia Kite

Posted on December 16, 2005
Abortion, Business and Commerce, College, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, People, Places, Topics, Venues, Women

Venues