Balding Italian man: Well, I was going to say “marijuana”.
Young Italian woman: That's your answer for everything.
–Frankies 457, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sunny
Balding Italian man: Well, I was going to say “marijuana”.
Young Italian woman: That's your answer for everything.
–Frankies 457, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sunny
Disheveled gentleman: Hey, man, can you spare some change? I need a bottle of vodka, a bag of marijuana, and a prostitute. I'm desperate!
–East Village
Overheard by: Matty Mac
Toothless lady on street corner to friend: I ain't never been to jail, I ain't never fucked nobody for money!
–Brooklyn
Older Guido to young hipster: And then you got a fuckin' hooker on your hand, what are you going to to do?
–Mulberry
Overheard by: nina
Clean-cut queer: So she says "where are you going after this?" and I say "I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel and get some sleep" and she says "do you want company?" and I say "well, you're not really my type" and she says "I've got lots of friends… What's your type?" and I say "boys." And she's all, "oh, well, that's nice!" And then she leaves pretty quickly. And my friend says "who was that? Do you know her?" and I say, "no, she's just some very, very, very friendly girl. In a gold lamé cocktail dress. On a Tuesday night."
–6 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy on cell: I wish I was in Florida–the hookers down there owe me 8 bucks and a beer!
–Astoria
Middle aged man #1: I smoke a joint every once in a while with him.
Middle aged man #2: Well, it's good for you–it stops cancer. You know, the whole medicinal marijuana thing I've been reading about in the paper…
–Broadway & 84th St
Girl #1: So you sent marijuana to your brother… In the mail?
Girl #2: What? He asked me to!
–Ave A &14th St
Overheard by: Stephanie
Middle-aged woman to 20-something guy hand-rolling a cigarette: You know, it looks like you're rolling a joint there.
Guy, laughing: Little early in the day for that, don't you think?
Middle-aged woman: Not for me.
–49th St & Madison Ave
NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: liz
Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!
–Hunter College High School
Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julie
Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emmy
Short thug: Nigga, stars come in all sizes. Just 'cause some are bigger don't mean they are closer.
Tall thug: Fuck it, they don't! The sun's the biggest star because that motherfucker's the closest. (other thugs murmur in agreement)
Short thug: What about the moon, then? It looks bigger than any of them bitches.
Tall thug: Because it's closer! Damn!
Short thug: But it ain't bigger than a motherfucking star!
Random thug: Ain't nobody know how big a star is, man.
Short thug, exasperated: How many of you niggas smoking your own shit? (they fall silent) Goddamn! Well, that explains a whole fucking lot!
–St. John's & Underhill
Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.
–NYU
Delivery truck man #1: You know what's great at that Chinese spot?
Delivery truck man #2: What?
Delivery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
Delivery truck man #2: I'll tell you what.
Delivery truck man #1: What?
Delivery truck man #2: That's definitely not kosher.
(they laugh)
Delivery truck man #1: But wait if I take it to a rabbi to bless, can it become kosher?
Delivery truck man #2: Good question.
Delivery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the ferry, remember when the right side was for only cokeheads and weedheads, and your mother would say “don't go on the right side of the ferry” and people used to OD and you would find dead bodies? Those were the days!
–Staten Island Ferry
Social studies teacher: Sometimes this class just makes me want a cigarette and a stiff drink. To bad I don't smoke anymore. Well, cigarettes, at least.
–Hunter College High School
Girl to friend: What I really want right now is a whippit and two cigarettes.
–NYU Dorm
Subway girl: You know, he smokes a lot for being crippled.
–N Train
High school boy: You know Danny? He's been smoking since he was in second grade.
–Cold Stone Creamery
Overheard by: Kristina
Old lady to store owner: I just got out of the hospital. Can I have a lighter? A BIC one.
–Amsterdam & 88th St
Overheard by: Beez and Newb
