Girl #1: I really need to get fit, I need to buy a tredmill, you know, so I can just sit there and use it.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Lisa
Girl #1: I really need to get fit, I need to buy a tredmill, you know, so I can just sit there and use it.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Lisa
Suit on phone: The dream was strange…we are in a library …I say something like "it's a liability." Then you said "your mom's a liability." That was it…I don't know.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: POLA
Young suit to another: The world is not your oyster!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Amy
Suit to another, as 30-something woman in skirt and high heels passes by: Yowza! And that ends our case study!
–Madison Ave & 40th St
Overheard by: Casey
Stressed female suit: No one gives a fuck anymore. Everyone's just gonna do what they want. And any further complaints can be directed to my ass.
–University St b/w 8th & Waverly
Middle-aged Asian man in three-piece suit on cell: I mean, how can I live like Bond if I'm married?
–46th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: dr. no, i dont do
20-something female suit on cell: Baby, I would love to go to dinner, but you have two options: dinner or sex. I only have time for one.
–27th St & Park Ave
Conductor: This is Beverly Road, the next stop will be Beverly Road. Stand clear of the doors.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Robert
Conductor: This is the last stop on this train, everyone needs to exit the train. (all passengers go out) My bad, this is not the last stop on this train, everyone get back on the train.
–6 Train
Conductor, as train approaches 42nd Street: This is 34th Street, transfer is available to the a and e trains, connection available to Amtrak, New Jersey Transit, and Long Island Railroad. Next stop, 34th Street, Penn Station.
–Uptown C Train
Overheard by: Dara
Conductor: This is Franklin Avenue, the next stop is…I don't know what the next stop is.
–4 Train
Conductor of crowded train: Please do not step onto the train, it is too crowded. There is another 1 train right behind us. Please wait for that one. (doors close) Ladies and gentlemen, there is no 1 train behind us.
–1 train
First man: So after Cain killed Abel he was sent from exile and went up Europe way.
Second man: Not Asia?
First man: No, the Caucus mountains… that’s up Europe way.
Second man: Oh, you mean like Turkey.
First man: And since black people don’t like the cold, Cain went to live in a cave and started to grow and was the first caveman. Now at that time there was dinosaurs but they weren’t really dinosaurs, we call them dinosaurs but that’s just how God made animals, you know, until you start messin with the DNA of ’em.
Second man: Oh!
First man: Then Cain met his sister and they had a baby together but since Cain was cursed for being the first murderer their baby came out an obino.
Second man: An obino?
First man: Yeah, a red-headed blue-eyed obino and that’s where white people come from. Then they went to the north pole and you know it’s light there six months and it’s dark there six months and the wind is always blowing and that’s where Asian people come from. That’s why they eyes is like that because the wind was always blowin in they faces.
–D Train
Man leaving Dunkin Donuts: She tried to sell me donuts!
Wife: Are you sure?
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: soph
Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um… I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.
–Brooklyn Heights
Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie
Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?
–Times Square
Overheard by: jacki
Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.
–White St & W. Broadway
Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..
Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!
–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Not High, Kumar
Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.
–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Girl, while texting: Cindy, this is so weird.
Cindy: What is?
Girl: My predictive text. My phone recognizes “intravaginal”, “labradoodle,” “hornswoggle” and “clusterfuck,” but won't recognize “pomegranate” or “wildebeest!”
Cindy: Why would you need to use those words?
Girl: I like those pomegranate jelly beans my mom got from T.J. Maxx.
–M1 Bus
Girl #1: Did you know babies have natural reflexes? Like, if you stick your finger in their hand, they'll grab it, and if you try to pull it away, they'll hold on to it for like a minute.
Girl #2: Did you know if you punch a baby in the face, it'll cry?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: mkb
