White People

Woman: So my friend was going to vote for Obama, but now, since her boyfriend is from, like, Alaska, she's going to vote for McCain instead.

–Store, 2nd Ave

Woman to friend: Joe says he weighs 145 but he's a Republican. You can't trust anything he says.

–Pinetree Lodge, 35th & 1st

Hobo on street corner: Vote for McCain. Get nuclear rockets shot up your ass and eat moose burgers all day!

–W 3rd & MacDougal St

Overheard by: Matt

60-something woman dressed like teenybopper, talking about Sarah Palin on cell: She proves you can be pretty and smart. She's more than a bulldog in a pantsuit; she's like Alaska Barbie!

–Penn Station

Yuppie dad to whiny daughter: Barack Obama doesn't like it when his daughters whine.

–Caroll Gardens

Middle-aged, white man on cell: Do not call me at this number again. Never call me at this number again. Listen, if you call me at this number again I will, in fact, vote for John McCain.

–Tea Lounge, Cobble Hill

Middle aged white woman on cell: Okay, mom. Go back to watching Snoop. Yeah, I know you love him. Okay, have fun watching the D-0-double g! Bye.
Random passerby: Best. Conversation. Ever.

–Upper West Side

Black guy who just walked in: Excuse me, sir, have you been waiting for the train long?
White guy reading newspaper (with an Obama sticker on his bag): Sorry, I don't have any spare change.
Black guy: What?

–1 Train

Man on phone: Well, I got a shirt but it wasn't quite what I was looking for, so I'm gonna go to Whole Foods and get some breadsticks.

–Astor Place

Older, bespectacled white male at table with wife: Motherfuckin' tube socks…

–Jazz Standard, 27th & Park

Overheard by: V

6'6" man (earnestly): Honestly, if I were Hillary, I would never wear a pantsuit! You know what I mean?

–Bellevue Hospital

Overheard by: Ingwall

Cracker: I hate fighting rastas. Man, I really do. It's those hats…you never know what they're hiding in those fuckin' hats!

–Marcy & Broadway

Man: Do you realize you just offended a man carrying an organic tote bag?

–6 Train

Overheard by: wb

Barfly to bartender: Is that your belt or a wrinkle in the fabric of time?

–Thirsty Scholar, 2nd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Jas

Wannabe rap superstar: Yo, wanna buy this CD?
Middle aged white guy: What are the beats like?
Wannabe rap superstar: (silence)
Middle aged white guy: Are they like (starts beat-boxing)?
Wannabe rap superstar: No. (leaves)

–96th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: sure they weren't

WASP to stodgy husband, after Blue Man Group performance: So how'd you like it?
Stodgy husband (grunting): Fine, except for the excessive noise.

–Astor Theatre, SoHo

Overheard by: ysabet

Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.

–Union Square

Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."

–59th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Satch

Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?

–2nd ave and 8th st

Overheard by: evanescent

Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!

–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway

White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Benny the boo

Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!

–21st St

Hipster white guy: You got mad abortion issues, yo!
Hipster white chick: Yeah.

–Motor City Bar

Asian girl: Oh my god, we had a physics quiz and I totally failed.
White girl: Wait, you mean like an Asian fail, right?
Asian girl: Yeah, I think I still have an A, but barely!

–NJ Transit