Woman #1: So, I went to the dermatologist the other day, and she said it doesn't have to be removed.
Woman #2: Oh…good!
Woman #1: I know! I was like, “good!” I'm very attached to it, and it's very attached to me!
Woman #3: Wait…what are we talking about?
Woman #1 (in loud whisper): I have a…huge mole. On my ass.
–Deli, 7th & Ave A
Two women pass each other on the street.
Woman #1: Saline?
Woman #2: Yep!
–St. Marks Place
Subway guitar player: This next song is for the Korean lady in the white coat sitting in front of me. Are you Korean?
Lady: No, I'm from Peru.
Subway guitar player: Oh, shit! I never met a Peru lady before.
–Uptown 2 Train
Man: Yeah, my mother raised me right. I make sure I eat breakfast every day.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: I have sardines and grits every day.
Woman: Sardines?
Man: Hell, yes. Sometimes I give some of the gravy to the cats, and they go crazy for it. I mean, it don't matter if they just ate or nothing, they just love the gravy.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: Gravy. I usually give them a little of whatever I cook. You know, and then they either eat it or they don't. They like turn their heads away if they don't like it. But they sure like gravy. Gravy.
–B26 Bus, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman looking for friend who got lost in massive crowd: Marco! Marco!
Massive crowd of people: Polo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Julia
Woman: Well, I hope they have tables…
Man: I hope they have shots.
–3rd & 17th
Woman to man: I know! I don't fry anything. I don't even fry my food anymore.
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: A very disturbed Newsbunny
Old Jewish woman to husband holding restaurant leftovers: It's a sin to waste that food. You could send it to Israel!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: What a waste!
Preppy guy: At least *I'm* not the one molesting fictional cereal pitchmen.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl on cell, talking loudly: I don't know what I want, but whatever I want, I want French fries with it.
–John St
Preppy girl on cell: Do they study eggs? (pause) Eggs! (pause) Do they study eggs?
–Times Square
Female new student to boyfriend: You have to stop with this whole burrito-is-a-dick thing.
–6th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Catie
Lady #1: Look at all these kids! I feel so old…I can’t date in this city any more.
Lady #2: Are you kidding? Listen, honey, let me tell you…I just finished my starter marriage, and I’ve been dating like crazy!
–6 train
Overheard by: BBW
Girl #1: Look at my new ring! Isn’t it shiny and big?
Girl #2: Omigod. When did you get it?
Girl #1: Yesterday, my manlover gave it to me.
Girl #2: “Manlover”?
Girl #1: Yeah, he’s not a boy or my friend, hence manlover.
–F train
Overheard by: fridayweasel
Black chick #1: I told her to keep her badussy hands off my sandwich
Black chick #2: “Badussy”?
Black chick #1: Yeah, It’s like butt and pussy.
–Union Square
Guy: No, I mean I could but it’s not going to change the fact that he did it and he’s probably just going to do it again at some point.
Girl: But you could still gain the satisfaction of telling him he’s a bitch-ho.
–6 train
Girl #1: I’m on the brown; it stinks.
Girl #2: Brown?
Girl #1: You know, when your period is ending.
–Q train
Lady: ‘Scuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to Baltimore?
Man: That’s in Maryland
Lady: Damn.
–Times Square
Guy eating pancakes: Everything's funny in retrospect, like the time I got that screwdriver stuck in my eye.
–IHOP, Brooklyn
Ancient Greek civilization professor: A sexual act, in some sense, for an observer is funny.
–Hunter College
Crazy lady: All the prostitutes need to be rounded up and stuck in churches! (teen girl laughs) You think that's funny? It's not gonna be funny when you are in a hospital addicted to crack!
–Water St & Broad St
Girl to her friend: Wouldn't it be funny if human beings could only walk forward and backwards?
–8th St & 2nd Ave
Lady sitting with girlfriends: It's funny because I'm pregnant, and he doesn't know.
–Starbucks
Drunken Jets fan to friends in Jets jerseys: That's not funny. You want to see something funny? (grabs wooden signpost, slams forehead into it) That's funny!
–W 4th & Barrow
Overheard by: jira monkey
