Maverick Wednesday One-Liners Take on the Washington Establishment

Woman: So my friend was going to vote for Obama, but now, since her boyfriend is from, like, Alaska, she's going to vote for McCain instead.

–Store, 2nd Ave

Woman to friend: Joe says he weighs 145 but he's a Republican. You can't trust anything he says.

–Pinetree Lodge, 35th & 1st

Hobo on street corner: Vote for McCain. Get nuclear rockets shot up your ass and eat moose burgers all day!

–W 3rd & MacDougal St

Overheard by: Matt

60-something woman dressed like teenybopper, talking about Sarah Palin on cell: She proves you can be pretty and smart. She's more than a bulldog in a pantsuit; she's like Alaska Barbie!

–Penn Station

Yuppie dad to whiny daughter: Barack Obama doesn't like it when his daughters whine.

–Caroll Gardens

Middle-aged, white man on cell: Do not call me at this number again. Never call me at this number again. Listen, if you call me at this number again I will, in fact, vote for John McCain.

–Tea Lounge, Cobble Hill

Posted on October 8, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Diet/Weight, Guys, Hobos, Lies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penn Station, Politics, Pop Culture, President, Relationships, Store, Stupidity, The Village, Threats, U.S. Geography, War, White People, Women, Yuppies

The Sudden Onset Of Lesbianism Is Common in New York

Yuppie woman #1: What are those, like, Birkenstocks?
Yuppie woman #2: Yeah.
Yuppie woman #1: Who are you?
Yuppie woman #2: I don't know.
Yuppie woman #1: Are you feeling okay?
Yuppie woman #2: I don't know.

–Fashion District

Posted on October 3, 2008
Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Shoes, Weirdness, Women, Yuppies

Now Drink Your Wine and Shut Up

Neo yuppie #1: Man, I love me some hot dogs at Shea.
Neo yuppie #2: Hot dogs are for poor people.

–Bin 71

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on September 19, 2008
Default, Junk Food & Fast Food, Money & Class, Restaurants & Cafes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Yuppies

Four Out of Five Dentists Want to Know

Yuppie #1 (greeting friend): What's up?
Yuppie #2: Not– oh, bro I think you still have some shaving cream up on your ear.
Yuppie #1 (wiping off ear): Oh, yeah, that's probably toothpaste.
Yuppie #2: How did you get toothpaste all the way up there?
Yuppie #1: You don't want to know.

–Carroll St, Brooklyn

Posted on August 23, 2008
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Default, Health and Hygiene, Questions, Weirdness, Yuppies

Purple Means “Hungry” in Hipster Code

Blue-haired hipster: Dude, could you spare some change? I just need a dollar to get somethin' off the dollar menu at McDonald's.
Yuppie: Dude, fuck you! You're not hungry! If you were hungry you wouldn't be dying your hair blue.

–St. Marks & 3rd

Posted on August 15, 2008
Colors, Compare/Contrast, Default, Hair, Hipsters, Junk Food & Fast Food, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Yuppies

An Epidemic Of Wednesday One-Liners

Middle-aged white guy to younger black woman: Just leave them a message that's like "I woke up from my coma, don't worry. Not that you were worried anyway."

–Nederlander Theater

Overheard by: julia

Girl to friend: Everything was fine until I found out about the warts.

–Broadway & Waverly

Man to friends: All I know is that I was leaving town the next day, so I told her to take some Pepto-Bismol or Robitussin or whatever because I was gettin' some that night for sure!

–Bodega, 22nd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Doug Tischler

Teenage black girl, within a group of friends: Them kids with autism, they be havin' mad skills!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: r. faith

Male yuppie: If she comes back with cold sores, I'll know who to go to.

–San Domenico Restaurant, East 26th St

Girl: Rabies is my biggest enemy.

–Bellerose, Queens

Posted on August 13, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Medicine, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Penn Station, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, The Village, Theater, Threats, White People, Yuppies

And Like We Should Judge?

Young white yuppie girl #1: Did you really let him stay over again?
Young white yuppie girl #2: Well, he doesn’t have to report to Riker’s for another couple weeks.

–12th & Washington

Overheard by: balloonknot

Posted on June 2, 2008
Default, Girls, Questions, Relationships, West Village, White People, Yuppies

Wednesday Doing-Liners

Socialite-in-training: So all I had in this stupid bar in Las Vegas is a vodka tonic and a whiff of cocaine and before I know it I’m making out with a guy that I distinctly remember saying "I don’t like you" to. Yeah… That happened a lot this summer…

–116th & Broadway

Yuppie: I’m in fucking Penn station, I don’t know if it’s fucking snowing outside. I hope six falls up my nose tonight.

–Penn Station

Student on cell: I mean, I could say there are people going into finance doing lines of coke on a Monday night and here I am, doing work.

–114th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam

Kid, walking out of middle school: Man, I could really use some cocaine!

–East Village

Model to friend about styling team: Yo, before I knew they were from California, I thought they were on coke…

–Crwon Heights

Overheard by: Cuttie

Yuppie to friend: No, seriously. He’s not a jerk at all. He’s a cokehead. You’ll love him.

–Essex & Rivington

Posted on May 21, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Cocaine, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Friends, Jobs & Careers, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Lower East Side, On Cell, Penn Station, Rich people, Sexuality, Students, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weather, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

Stagehand: I’m telling you, in my next life I’m gonna be a yeti impersonator, and it’s gonna be great!

–Lincoln Center

Curly-haired woman on cell: The gnomes you’ll be seeing are among the friendliest, I think.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Poogins

Crazy hobo, walking down the street: I bought Jesus! I bought Santa Claus! I bought the tooth fairy!

–Parsons, 40th & 7th ave

College girl to friend, pointing at native-american diorama: Oh look, they even have mermaids here! [walks closer and sees mannequin’s feet.] Never mind, it’s not a mermaid!

–Museum of Natural History

Yuppie mom, to toddler son: You can live on the upper west side and I’ll be the tooth fairy!

–Times Square Subway

Overheard by: Lillian

Posted on April 23, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Crazies, Happiness, Hobos, Holidays, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Museum of Natural History, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Times Square, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women, Yuppies

Dog and Pony Shows, However, Can Be Incredibly Nuanced

Yuppie #1: Yeah, I’ve been to a few donkey shows… You know there are different types, right?
Yuppie #2, hesitantly: Um, yeah… I went to one once and pretty much got the point.

–Yankee Stadium

Posted on December 18, 2007
Animals & Nature, Questions, Yankee Stadium, Yuppies

Yuppies

And Like We Should Judge?