Some Con Ed workers are standing around a manhole, peeking in and looking confused.
Con Ed worker: Just put some tape on it!
–43rd St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jennifer Cuatt
Some Con Ed workers are standing around a manhole, peeking in and looking confused.
Con Ed worker: Just put some tape on it!
–43rd St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jennifer Cuatt
Girl: It smells like blasphemy!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: I only smelled mulch
Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.
–8th & A
Overheard by: Meredith
Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.
–W 30th, between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Maggie
Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.
–103rd & Broadway
Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.
–F train
Overheard by: Yanni
College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!
–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform
Overheard by: EJ
Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!
–Downtown 1 train
Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.
–Spring & Broadway
White girl on cell: Wait, you’re watching BET? Well, do you feel black and/or entertained?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Casey
Black guy: So you see, white bitches just don’t understand that I have a big ass penis.
–St. Mark’s
Teenage black girl: See those buildings over there? That’s where I stay. Yeah, it’s nice and shit. I like it. Too many white people moved in, though. That’s why I’m KKK…Krazy Kracker Killa!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: aq
Black guy to white girl: You’d better not stay in the rain too long; sugar melts!
–117th & 5th
Overheard by: robin b
JAP: It’s not like I don’t like his parties, I just don’t fit in. Hello! I’m white!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Black guy: Well I have black friends, but they just don’t understand. You know what I’m sayin’? Certain races, dog.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Ghetto girl: What was these two white bitches doing in Harlem at 2:30 in the morning? You know how white they was? They so white they names was Ashley and Haley. That’s how white they was!
–Uptown 5 train
Midwestern tourist points to a black guy and says, to his tween daughter: You see that guy over there? You see how he’s a different color than you? You see that sometimes in big cities.
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: Gwen
Black girl to black friend: Yo, man, you’re acting like a black person.
–N train, Ditmars Blvd, Queens
Juicer: Oh, shit! We got customers in the store! We gotta stop acting so black!
–Jamba Juice, University Place
Frustrated woman, who has been trying in vain to hail a cab: What am I, black?
–21st & 6th
Black girl to black friend: We never gonna get a cab unless we start hangin’ with some white folks.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: white folk
Teenage girl: But Bob Dylan is Jewish. That’s kind of black.
–Upper West Side
Black girl: Why we gotta be black all the time? Why can’t we be white for two minutes?
–Wendy’s, W 34th St
JAP: I hate being white!
–66th & Broadway
White teen girl: Now I know what it feels like to be a minority.
–Chinatown
White woman to black woman: I feel like I understand the black struggle because I feel I was black in a past life.
–Penn Station
Thug on cell: Black people like catfish also, nigga!
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mappy and Chocolate
Ghetto girl at crosswalk: Ooh, lil’ white man tells me to walk, so I’m walkin’!
–Times Square
Overheard by: bully
Cop #1: We wouldn’t have so much crime here if Law & Order was set somewhere else. I mean, they’re just giving people ideas, and making them think it’s entertaining.
Cop #2: Uh huh. And the show also makes people think the force is full of skilled, competent officers.
Cop #1: I guess I object to that, too.
–John’s Pizza, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Jebediah
Headline by: Nick
Runners-Up:
· “As Do The Tourists Who Expect Him to Help When They’re Being Mugged” – Sinead
· “But The Worst Part Is, When Lenny Makes A Joke About A Corpse Everyone Thinks It’s Adorable, But When I Do It I Get Some Bitch Widow Calling Me Insensitive” – Kate
· “His remote’s in his holster and his TV is broken.” – Nick
· “I guess Vincent D’Onofrio is skilled, if by skilled you mean unbearable to watch” – that guy
· “I’m more of a Village People Cop than a Law & Order Cop” – ak
· “If the Sci-Fi Channel folded, we wouldn’t have so many alien invasions, either” – Matthew
· “If they brought back Cop Rock, this job would be a cake walk” – tony ska
· “It’s moments like these that make me wish I was set somewher else” – Jenina
· “Wow I was always saying that wrong. So it’s *Life* imitates *Art*?” – srednivashtar
· “You should have seen this town when “Naked City” was on.” – J. A. G.
A crazy lady is walking down the street screaming to herself.
Little girl: Mommy, why is that lady yelling?
Mom: I don’t know, sweetheart.
Little girl: I think she needs a nap.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: mic
Scottish guy #1: No, I don’t like her. Should I break up with her?
Scottish guy #2: Yes, definitely!
Scottish guy #1: Nah, I think I’ll rent a stretch limo, take her to see Mamma Mia in Glasgow for Valentine’s and rent a hotel room and then break up with her.
Scottish guy #2: What?
Scottish guy #1: What, is that bad?
–Planet Hollywood, Times Square
Overheard by: Cherie
Guy on cell: My doctor told me if you piss right after sex, you can’t get STDs…Yeah, I do it all the time.
–Suffolk & Rivington
Overheard by: John
Loud teen girl: Wait, you had a dream that you had AIDS? That I had AIDS? Fuck you, man.
–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn
Chick on cell: I know it’s sick, but I’m so excited that I can have unsafe sex now!
–23rd Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Concerned citizen: Excuse me, I don’t know if this is a trans-generational or New York metropolitan faux pas, but you should really tell your friend, girlfriend, lady friend or whatever that one in every four persons in America has herpes.
–sushi restaurant, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Caitlyn
Young guy: I was in a spaceship speaking Arabic.
–Chambers & Broadway
White guy on cell: You’re Japanese. You should like Swiss.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lizzerd
Skinny JAP: Omgosh! Let’s go watch the World Cup! Like, we’ll see witchcraft…magic…stuff.
Fat JAP: Oh yeah, totally. That stuff from Harry Potter.
–Greenwich & North Moore
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: grossed out
