Dude #1: That party was fun. It was hot, though.
Dude #2: Yeah, it smelled like hot ass in there.
–Loews Hotel, Lexington & 51st
Guy: Yo, she smelled like dead hell!
–Flatbush
Dude #1: That party was fun. It was hot, though.
Dude #2: Yeah, it smelled like hot ass in there.
–Loews Hotel, Lexington & 51st
Guy: Yo, she smelled like dead hell!
–Flatbush
Girl #1: …you think it would have been OK, all I had was a pastrami sandwich.
Girl #2: Well, that’ll certainly keep him out of your butt for a while…
–2nd St. & Ave. A
Skinny white girl to angry boyfriend: Those guys that I flirt with at work, I get paid to flirt with them. It's like I'm a prostitute.
Hobo: Not with that ass, you're not!
–Queens Plaza
Girl to roommate, after dog-sitting: I'm sad… I don't have anyone to stick their wet nose in my tushy.
–96th St & West End
Guy dressed as Santa: I just need my butt to evaporate.
–6th Ave & Waverly
Older black dude to another: She know I ain't go fuck with her, as big as her ass is.
–10th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: julie
Frustrated tall boy: Does it look like I have an ass? No! It does not!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny Lawrence
Momma #1 with stroller as she walks by: I'm-a pop her in the ass.
Momma #2 strolling along with her: Mmmm-huh!
–Central Park
Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.
–Veniero's Pastry Shop
Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…
–57th St
Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.
–14th & 6th
Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.
–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: rick
Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment
Ratty old white man: I don't owe you nothin'.
Dirty old black woman: You owe me a solid two hundred.
Ratty old white man: A solid dick in the ass, maybe.
–Central Park
Overheard by: DKF
Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it.
–Frying Pan Bar
Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule.
–NYU
Overheard by: Leslie
Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: The Trooper
Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant.
–Park Ave & 29th St
Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you!
–123rd St & Manhattan Ave
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Bridge and tunnel #1: You can't be a germophobe in New York, dude.
Bridge and tunnel #2: Are you kidding? I wash my hands before I wipe my ass in this city.
–G Train
Overheard by: …fair point
