Woman #1: Maybe if you suck his cock, he’ll, like, buy you a new car!
Woman #2: Maybe he will!
–83rd St & Columbus Ave
Woman #1: Maybe if you suck his cock, he’ll, like, buy you a new car!
Woman #2: Maybe he will!
–83rd St & Columbus Ave
Girl #1: What’s a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We’re gonna have a long discussion later…
–231st St
Overheard by: Adrian
Boy: I still have no idea what you’re trying to get me to do.
Girl: Well, what do I do to you a lot?
Boy: Suck my dick?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Oh… You want me to suck your dick?
–Hot and Crusty, 87th & Broadway
Overheard by: Amanda Fox
Guy #1: Dude… [Whispers to friend.]Guy #2, loudly: What?! Doesn’t do blowjobs? How does she have a normal social life?!
–Doc Watson’s, UES
Overheard by: acton
Guy: Naw, you just stuck on stupid. I told you, you should’ve dropped down and sucked that nigga’s dick.
Girl, resigned: Yeah…
–1st & Union, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nat
Girl on cell: Stop talking about my grandmother’s ba-donka-donk!
–6th & 2nd
Girl on cell: So, she walked in on me getting out of the shower again this morning… Yeah, I guess I could put a lock on the door, but I’m really starting to think that my grandma just likes seeing me naked in the morning.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Chick on cell: What should I get for Grandma? No, I’m not at a mall, I’m on the street… No, I don’t see anything she’d like, unless… Do you think Grandma wants a bong?
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Heather
Dude to hot chick: I’d rather have sex with you than my grandma.
–1 train
Overheard by: bldlube
Guy on cell: So then he’s like, ‘Dude, are you in prison again?’ And I was like, ‘No, dude, I’m talking to you online. How could I be in prison?’ And he was like, ‘There was a computer when I was in prison. I mean, you had to suck dick to get online, but whatever.’ And I was like, ‘Dude, I’m at my grandma’s house. We’re having tea and shit.’
–E 14th St & Irving
Young queer #1: I’m getting my tonsils out the day after next.
Young queer #2: Girlfriend, you’d better suck some dicks before then!
–14th & 8th
Thug #1 seeing thugette across the intersection: Oh, shit! That bitch sucked my dick!
Thug #2, yelling across street: Nice job, Lacy!
–32nd & 7th
Hipster #1: She sucked my dick right there.
Hipster #2: She was such a slut!
Hipster #1: Luckily for me.
Hipster #2: Most Texans are, though… that I’ve met…
–14th & 5th
Big black church lady heading into storefront ministry: It is against the law to suck dick on the street!
–Cypress Hills, Brooklyn
Overheard by: punkee
Ex-frat boy: What if I put a wig on? Would you let me go down on you? Remind you of your college days?
–Goodbye Blue Monday, Bushwick
Student: Baby, baby, baby — I swear to God, yo — swallowing prevents breast cancer and shit.
–Outside Midtown High
Woman: Blowjobs for ludes is a win-win situation.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Dressy lady: I would blow that Kermit parade float.
–Tavern on the Green
