NYU girl: I'm not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she's been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she's a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.
–NYU Silver Center
Schoolgirl #1: You know that girl in our global class?
Schoolgirl #2: The one with the face.
Schoolgirl #1: Yeah!
–Outside of Murry Bergatrum High School
Guy #1: How's that new apartment?
Guy #2: Every night the rats eat a little bit more of my foot…
–N Train
Teenage girl #1: Then he was kissing my forehead a lot after we hooked up so I told everyone there he was gay.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, that is really gay.
–Houston St station
Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.
–Apartment Building, Midtown
Girl: And the doctor asked if she'd gone down on anyone lately, and she said "yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth," and the doctor said "you have genital warts in your throat."
–L Train
Overheard by: atrain
Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend's mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.
–1st & 15th
Overheard by: Angela
Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can't hear you, I'm burping.
–77th & 2nd
Girl to friend: My dad would say, "don't send her chocolate, it makes mucus."
–W 24th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Girlfriend: So, my Christopher is a little feminine sometimes…
Boyfriend: I spent two hours shaving this morning!
Dude: Yeah, but shaving what, is the question.
Girlfriend: Not that.
Boyfriend: No, that was yesterday.
Dude, disgusted: I was talking about your legs, but thanks…
–Hershey’s store, Times Square
Overheard by: equally disgusted
Drunk girl to random sober guy: Bacon! My hands are like bacon!
Sober guy: What are you, drunk?
Drunk girl: Just very, very, very hungry.
Sober guy: Proceed.
–NYU
Guy to whispering girl: What?
Girl #1: You don't wanna know.
Guy: Yeah, I do.
Girl #2: No, you don't.
Guy: I don't! Why do you whisper? Include me! I wanna know!
Girl #1: Fine. I'll tell you. (loudly) My uterus hurts!
–63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Therese
Girl: So, like, I totally want this job… Should I sleep with this guy?
Friend: No, but just show a little bit more panty when you cross your legs and you should be okay.
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
