Thug on cell, after helping an old women with a walker out of the doorway: Yeah, man, you know me. Slashing tires and rapin’ women, that’s what I’m all about.
–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: InnocentlyEvil
Thug on cell, after helping an old women with a walker out of the doorway: Yeah, man, you know me. Slashing tires and rapin’ women, that’s what I’m all about.
–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: InnocentlyEvil
Man yelling from upper floor: Bitch! You lucky I can’t come down there and beat yo’ ass!
Woman yelling up from street: That’s why yo’ ass is in there!
–Brooklyn House of Detention for Men
Overheard by: Jimbo Jones
Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #2: You're a cop, you fucking bastard?
Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #2: You're a fucking cop?!
Drunk guy #1: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk guy #3: I'm a cop you idiot! It's not a tumor!
–3rd Ave & 92nd St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mallory
British girl: What were you just talking about?
Queer: Oh, we’re talking about hypothetical blowjobs.
British girl: Whatever. I don’t have time for hypotheticals anymore.
–BBQ, DeKalb & Clermont
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain!
–State St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ben
Old woman, putting stamps on envelope: I wish they would change the picture on these…
Middle aged woman: Frank Sinatra?
Old woman: Oh god, not that creep!
–Post Office, Stuyvesant
Overheard by: flat rate box
Chick #1: Hey, guess what I found out?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Bugs Bunny is from Brooklyn!
Chick #2: That’s bullshit. Last time I checked, Bugs Bunny lived in a hole, not a brownstone.
Chick #1: Ha, ha! I love you. I swear, you’re so witty sometimes. I’m not even kidding.
Chick #2: I know, right? I don’t know where I come up with this stuff.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Erich Pelletier
Girl to guy: I don't think that hamsters respond to you as much as, like, a guinea pig does.
–Bank St. & Greenwich St.
Overheard by: Katie Compa
Crazy redneck-looking guy to PETA circus protester: They're gonna do to us what they did to the lions! We'll be put in concentration camps!
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Santiago and Catie
Guy: And she can ride him like a horse!
–W 103rd St
Graying Brooklyn guy to another: You know, the only thing I haven't seen is a bobcat.
–7th Ave & 4th St, Brooklyn
Underclassman to another: Lizards can't impregnate anyone. They don't even have penises.
–Townsend Harris High School
Overheard by: amused
Drunk man in tiger costume to McDonald's worker: There's an escaped zoo animal and he wants to eat your pussy. Stop serving your food and hide! (then steals bowl of jams used for breakfast menu)
–McDonald's
Skinny professor: John* [a chubby professor] and I started Weight Watchers together at the same time!
–Hostos Faculty Dining Room
Overheard by: glad she's leaving
Skinny girl to clerk: Hi, do you have a soy-based, non-dairy substitute for heavy cream?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: office peon loves Thanksgiving food
Girl ordering Coffee Coolatta with skim milk: I hope this tastes as good as it did when I was anorexic. Everything tasted good back then…
–Dunkin Donuts, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: allison
Jewish grandmotherly type: Women with anorexia seem to have such strange eating habits.
–Upper West Side
Anorexic-looking girl: I want a tic tac. I'm hungry.
–95th & 2nd
