Tween thugette #1, at a cologne display: I'ma get this for him for Christmas, cause he a homo! He a hydrogenate!
Tween thugette #2: No, he ugly!
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Ashley
Tween thugette #1, at a cologne display: I'ma get this for him for Christmas, cause he a homo! He a hydrogenate!
Tween thugette #2: No, he ugly!
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Ashley
Man #1: She fucks like a Puerto Rican
Man #2: Have you ever fucked a Puerto Rican?
Man #1: No. But I’ve imagined it.
–Fort Greene
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
Bi-curious guy to gaggle of girls: He wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror and says, “I hope I don't have herpes.”
Girl #1: Has he gotten tested?
Bi-curious guy: No, he's too afraid.
Girl #2: I would be too if I'd been around that much dirty snatch.
Girl #1: Wouldn't you be able to tell if you had herpes?
–Sheepshead Bay
White girl, yelling to black friend: Heather! Come to the back of the bus and sit with me!
Heather: I ain't no Rosa Parks!
–Bus, Brooklyn
Clerk guy: Has anyone in this room been convicted of a felony? Come up to the front desk.
Husband: Okay, I’m going to go up there.
He returns 5 minutes later.
Husband: Hey, I’m all done. I told you you should’ve murdered someone, you’d be out too!
–Kings County Supreme Court, Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Cassie Nicole
Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you?
–Brooklyn Heights
Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today!
–Ground Zero
Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.
–Union Square
Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off!
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Kid, in stroller: What's that?
Mom: A plumber truck.
Kid: A plumber truck?
Mom: Uh-huh.
Kid: I wanna be a plumber truck!
–7th & Atlantic, Brooklyn
Overheard by: concerned for the future
Girl #1: Are you sure he’s gay?
Girl #2: Um, yeah!
Girl #1: Nooo, he can’t be! How do you know?
Boy: Because he likes dick in his ass.
In unison: Oooh…
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Thug on cell: Will I accept payment in what? In coke? Fuck no, I won’t accept an eight-ball as payment. No. No way, bitch, I don’t care how pure it is. Uh-uh, the only coke I do comes in five dollar rocks. I can’t afford to get hooked on that expensive shit.
–49th & 7th
Oveheard by: Prefers the expensive shit
Drunk guy, to his date: The reason I’m buying all of this coke is so that we can fuck.
–6th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Girl: Can you imagine saying your vows when you’re that coked up?
–Remsen St, Brooklyn Heights
Party girl: Oh my God, she took a picture of me one time while I was doing a line, and I was, like, so pissed!
–Sheep’s Meadow, Central Park
Dude: America runs on cocaine.
–W Broadway
Overheard by: ritajones
Goth chick: I just want to buy some fucking groceries so we don’t spend all our money on coke.
–Whole Foods, 14th St
