Tourist girl, almost getting hit by a taxi while crossing against the light: Eek!
Spanish lady to cab driver: Ai, are you crazy!?
Tourist girl: Oh my god, she just kicked the car!
Spanish lady: Yah, I kick car.
–46th St
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Tourist girl, almost getting hit by a taxi while crossing against the light: Eek!
Spanish lady to cab driver: Ai, are you crazy!?
Tourist girl: Oh my god, she just kicked the car!
Spanish lady: Yah, I kick car.
–46th St
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Tourist teen: Scientology? Is that like that crazy Darwinism stuff where they think people are monkeys?
–TKTS
Guy: Well, 20 million years ago you were a monkey too!
–NYC Lab School
Overheard by: T
Teen to friend: So once the car is full of monkey poop, then you trade it in for another one.
–Chelsea
Hobo sitting in subway station: Woman ain't want no man in her bed…she want a monkey in her bed…ooohh ooh oh ahh ahhh ahhh. (makes monkey noises)
–E Train
Overheard by: Ja9
Comedy show hawker: You will all have autism when you're done with this show. And you'll be having sex like monkeys and bunnies.
–Times Square
Overheard by: fluffyautist
Little boy watching monkey, to father: I bet he wouldn't leave his kid at a Wal-Mart.
–Bronx Zoo
Girl #1: We can't cross now! There are cars coming!
Girl #2, beginning to walk into street: Well, they can't hit all of us.
–Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Following the leader
Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?
–W 77th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas
Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?
–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: GretaGarbo86
Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.
–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette
Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!
–A Train
Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?
–13th St & 5th Ave
Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!
–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University
Overheard by: Craig
Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!
–D Line
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.
–96th St Station
Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?
–Transit Museum
Overheard by: Rita
MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.
–6 Train Station
20-something guy on cell: In the eight-minute cab ride it went from her telling him he was wearing a cheap coat to her licking his face!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: Robert
Conductor: We are not moving because of a switch problem at 125th. If you are in a hurry, there are taxis upstairs.
–Uptown D Train
Overheard by: Wes
30-something man in Santa suit on cell: Where the fuck is my fucking taxi, bitch?
–Lafayette & Spring
Cop pulling over a cabbie: Why did you honk? Where did you see danger? Where did you see danger? Besides behind your own wheel…
–Times Square
Woman cut off by cab while crossing the street: Oh my god! I'm getting cab-fucked left and right!
–Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Marc
Friendly guy to two cute girls speaking French: Hi, where are you girls from?
Girl #1: We are from Switzerland.
Friendly guy: Oh, so you speak Swedish?
Girl #1: No, we speak French.
Friendly guy, slowly: So then, you come from France?
Girl #2: No, we come from the French-speaking part of Switzerland.
Friendly guy, confused: Oh, okay. So uh, how long did it take you to drive here?
–Burger King, W 42nd St
Hipster #1: Carnival games…
Hipster #2: Carnival games.
Hipster #1: Rock 'n' roll…
Hipster #2: Rock 'n' roll.
Hipster #1: Flying cars…
Hipster #2: Flying cars.
Hipster #1: Drugs…
Hipster #2: Drugs.
Hipster #1: Rape…
Hipster #2: Rape.
Hipster #1: Murder…
Hipster #2: Murder.
–40th St & Queens Boulevard
Overheard by: ExcessStrausses
Jaywalker #1 (honked at): Fuck you! Learn how to drive!
Jaywalker #2: Yeah, get a bike, save the environment!
Passerby: Uhh…that's a garbage truck.
–6th & Spring
Hippie, sarcastically to suit in '72 Cadillac convertible: Nice car. Where's the rest of The Sopranos?
Suit driving away, deadpan, without missing a beat: In the fucking trunk.
–Wall St
