Preacher on street corner: Jesus is the only one that can save you!
Man sitting nearby: This is so much better than Comedy Central.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Spazz
Preacher on street corner: Jesus is the only one that can save you!
Man sitting nearby: This is so much better than Comedy Central.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Spazz
Boy: It's like Jesus Christ, or Jackson Pollock.
Girl: Do you, like, know the people at this party we're going to?
–Union & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Indian employee #1, showing another how to work grill: So you just spray it with vegetable oil and then press down until it's brown.
Indian employee #2: How long?
Indian employee #1: Till its brown like me, not brown like you. Brown like you is too long. Like me, not you.
–Broadway
Goth girl #1: Wow! Then what?
Goth girl #2: It was kinda like taking a big handful of mayo and squishing it around.
–Matt Umanov Guitars, Bleecker St
Overheard by: wait, what?
Middle-aged woman: My work is better than my personality, honestly.
–40th b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Jim
Girl on cell: But you don't speak English or Spanish good. Baby, you just aren't that smart, how you supposed to get a job?
–Baskin & Robbins Downtown
Conductor: I really don't give a damn whether or not you stand clear of the closing doors, because regardless of where we go I'm still working.
–1 Train
Overheard by: gefilte fish junkie
Hobo, arguing with another: Don't talk to me like I'm yo' job.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Emily
Whiny lady on cell: Yeah, so I think I am allergic to my office. (pause) Oh, no, no, I am positive I am allergic to something in the office. Every time I am in there, sitting in my chair, I get these pains in my back.
–41st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: you still have a job, ungrateful lady!
Hobo to passers-by: Where are you all going? There ain't no jobs.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jillian
20-something girl: And then they had another raffle and I won another 30 minutes of free porn and a vibrator.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: eSong
Man, talking to himself in the park: I don't discriminate against women. Women discriminate against me. Why? Because they have all different kinds of dildos.
–City Hall Park
Salesman, shouting to man with girlfriend: Have you been neglecting your butthole lately? I'm selling some nice greasy vibrators here!
–34th St
Overheard by: Jessica
30-something balding man on cell: Dildo and show…
–14th & 3rd
Woman to friends posing for picture: 1…2…3…say: "sex toys!"
–West Village
Mythology professor: Ares was a bit stupid, so Aphrodite was pretty much the brains of that operation. For her, he was basically just a living dildo.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Sarah
Mother to small child: Well, the weather's nice today, so it's a good afternoon to go to the park, play on the playground, go on the swings, or attack daddy. (pause) Or…you know, whatever else you feel like doing.
–Gramercy
Overheard by: Max
Fancy woman waking out of building, on cell, during snow squall: It's either snow or debris. I can't tell.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: snow. trust me.
Five-year-old girl: It's snowing way too much in Columbus Circle! Fuck! I am going to file a complaint!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: queenofscots
Older hot guy: It's as cold as a drunken French whore in the old Bastille days!
–W 4th St
Woman to neighbor: Hey, girl, do you see this snow? It's the end of the world!
(pause) Have a great day!
–140th St & Amsterdam
Magician, after doing awesome trick: Well, do you believe in magic now?
Crowd: Yeah!
Magician: Really? Well, then you might just as well believe in Jesus.
–NYU
Guy: Please give me a quickie…maybe in the bathroom?
Girl: You just bought me coffee…let me finish it first.
Guy: The coffee can't wait?
Girl: It's a hell of a lot better than a quickie in the bathroom.
–Mimi's Cafe, Church & Chambers
Girl to another: So now, tell me, how does it feel to be a part of the inferior sex?
Guy: Wait, so you're admitting that women are inferior?
Girl: I have to wake up every morning and put on make-up!
–Washington Square Park
