Tourist woman #1: These people are all moving so fast…
Tourist woman #2: That's because they're in a rush. Don't ask them for directions.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Tourist woman #1: These people are all moving so fast…
Tourist woman #2: That's because they're in a rush. Don't ask them for directions.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Little boy: When we leave, how do we know how to get home?
Waspy mommy: Oh! C'mon sweetie, you know our street don't you?
Little boy: Uptown!
–Saks
Overheard by: smith
Train conductor: This is New York Penn Station. New York Penn. For those of you who are just waking up, this is Penn Station. If you are supposed to get off at New York Penn, wake up and get off now! (train leaves) Those of you who are just waking up: if you were supposed to get off at New York Penn Station, you just missed it! I told you to get up!
–Amtrak Train
College guy: Last night I woke up on an oriental rug and I had no idea where I was.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Hispanic lady: Quiet down, some people are trying to sleep!
–6 Train
Man to friend: She can sleep in the closet.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait what?
Loud pharmaceutical salesman to doctor: They say that New York is the city that never sleeps, right? You know why? You know why? Herpes!
–Doctor's Office, Astoria
Woman on cell: So I walked into a room and she's there, chained to a chair. And he had a gun, pointing it at me, saying he was gonna shoot me. Then I started crying. And he fucking shot her. (people on bus look worried) And then I woke up.
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: trev
Girl #1: No way, where is that?
Girl #2: St. Mark's.
Girl #1: No way! I live right there. Where on St. Mark's?
Girl #2: St. Mark's and 2nd Avenue.
Girl #1: No way! That's where I live! Should I get my hair cut there?
Girl #2: No.
–Park Ave South
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Tourist dad: Sorry, but where are we right now?
Local: Midgard.
Tourist dad: Thanks! Wait, what?
–Union Square
Overheard by: kabu
Midwestern tourist to New York businesswoman: Is this where I can get the Long Island expressway?
Businesswoman, exasperated: Are you *fucking* kidding me?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Kiki
“Drunk train” conductor: This is Jamaica station, train to Huntington… Please walk across the platform for the shiny train to Hempstead.
Drunk girl: Ohmygod dude, it's like actually shiny.
–Penn Station
Guy to passerby with Victoria's Secret bag: Hey, where is there a Victoria's Secret around here?
Passerby: A couple blocks down on 5th.
Guy to girlfriend: Come on, we're going to Victoria's Secret.
Girlfriend: Hell no, I'm not going to Victoria's Secret, I'm going to McDonald's and I'm gonna supersize it.
–23rd & 6th
Lost tourist lady: Ooooh, look, there's a nice policeman!
Transit cop, cracking up: No, I'm a meeeean policeman, a baaaad policeman. Some people even call me unpleasant. But I'll point ya to where ya wanna go.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Officer Friendly?
Thug teenager to woman shoving umbrella between doors to keep them open: Shit, woman! You'd best pull that umbrella out. This ain't no number train, we will leave yo ass!
–R Train
Very excited middle-aged woman hearing doo-wop singers board train: Woooo! Music train!
–R Train
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl on subway car looking at subway map: What, there's no "you are here"?
–A Train
Overheard by: Rins
20-something girl: Ugh, I hate the subway. They need to, like, invent a, like, above-ground transportation system!
–6 Train
Man walking onto train, slowly: All the premium seats are taken.
–A Train
Overheard by: glad i'm in first class
