Suit to guy in scrubs: How did you find her hemorrhoid?
Guy in scrubs: I gave it to her up the ass last night.
Suit: Win-win, I guess.
–Elevator, Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: ECW
Suit to guy in scrubs: How did you find her hemorrhoid?
Guy in scrubs: I gave it to her up the ass last night.
Suit: Win-win, I guess.
–Elevator, Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: ECW
Guy #1: Today's going by so fast. I can't believe it's almost one.
Guy #2: Yeah, today needs to slow down. I don't want to approach my death so quickly.
–Elevator, The Village
Overheard by: Laura
Platinum blonde chick: I had another nightmare last night.
Friend: About what?
Platinum blonde chick: Dyeing my hair black.
–Elevator, Pratt Institute
Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.
–Battery Maritime Building
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?
–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Derek
Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.
–Metro North Railroad
Overheard by: Jessica S.
Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!
–Grand Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Angelina
30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?
–H&M
Overheard by: julia
Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!
–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Charlotte
Slutty girl to friend: It's better that I get tested, right? Rather than just waiting to fuck someone and having them tell me?
Friend: Yeah, probably.
–Elevator, 4th Ave
Overheard by: oh really…
(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.
–Columbia Dorm
Overheard by: Z
Young suit #1: So she told me next week was better for her. Do you think that means anything?
Young suit #2: I don't know, man! (laughs)
Young suit #1: Well, she told me she can go swimming!
–Elevator 3rd & 44th
Teenage dude #1: It's hot in here.
Teenage dude #2: That's 'cuz you don't shut up. You usin' up all the oxygen!
–Subway Elevator
Overheard by: Purple Hat Lady
Guard to elderly tourists at elevator to roof: Please swing the line around the corner.
Elderly tourist: Ve don't sving.
–Metropolitan Museum
Larger woman in elevator eating Snickers bar: No matter what I do, I can't lose no weight!
Less fat friend: Mm-hmm.
(elevator goes one floor up and stops. Both go to get off)
Suit #1: Unbelievable, no wonder you have weight issues.
Larger woman: What? 'scuse me? What you know about me?
Suit: Other than you are fat, can't take the stairs for one floor, and are stuffing your face with a king size Snickers?
Less fat friend: Shit, he do know you.
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
