Dude #1: How's your sister doing?
Dude #2: She's fine.
Dude #1: So what is it with all these lesbians looking like Justin Bieber?
–2 Train
Overheard by: DG
Dude #1: How's your sister doing?
Dude #2: She's fine.
Dude #1: So what is it with all these lesbians looking like Justin Bieber?
–2 Train
Overheard by: DG
Chick on cell: As a pie-lover, I have a question.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Father to toddler: No, you can't have a doughnut. You just had a doughnut yesterday. You can have another when you're…25!
–Doughnut Plant, Grand & Norfolk
Large older woman: I like cherry, lemon, peach, apple, and pumpkin. Other than that, I'm not a big pie person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Struedel Snatcher
Big black guy: And she kept trying to get me to take a pie, but I kept telling her, "bitch, I ain't got no room for no pie!"
–Penn Station
Young lady to friend, gravely: I understand, but things have changed. That was before the chocolate bonanza.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: T. Ryan
Chick on cell: Why did you tell dad about that?…Well, he was going to find out sooner or later when he saw me on the website.
–Union Square
Female midget: Yeah, they’re installing the internet in my new apartment and apparently they need a computer.
–Elevator, ABC building, 66th St
Overheard by: Mojosaves
World traveler: Really, you can get anything on the streets of Bangkok. Thai prostitutes, smoothies, passport pictures…It’s like Craigslist.
–20th & 8th
Overheard by: laughing out loud
Catholic school girl on cell: Danny, it’s me. I have some bad news. We’re on a break. Call me back when you get this message….[Hangs up and redials] Maria! What am I going to do about my MySpace?!
–4th Ave
Overheard by: Joe
Blonde on cell: Seriously, I love you, but…Seriously…Seriously, you’re an asshole. You’re a dick! Why didn’t you just tell me the fucking truth!…Well, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I posted those pictures on MySpace, but…Well, be a fucking man about it and tell me the fucking truth then!…Seriously, I love you.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: wild dog boy
Loud guy on cell: So how do I get this done? Do I go on the internet or something?… I want to be able to print my own bounty hunter license immediately.
–11th & 6th
Suit: When I was working for my old company, all we would do is download porn.
–Grand & Varick
Mother: I ran into cousin Seth here the other day.
Two-year-old son: You mean, you hit heads? (taps forehead)
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
African American single mother: And what do they say on Maury?
Three-year old daughter: You are not the father.
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Darby
Cyclist #1: So how was your girl’s birthday?
Cyclist #2: All right, I guess. I kinda fucked up.
Cyclist #1: Fucked up? How?
Cyclist #2: Well, she’s vegan.
Cyclist #1: Yeah, so?
Cyclist #2: Well, I bought her a leather seat for her bike.
Cyclist #1: So what, man? She’s vegan — just because she doesn’t like cow in her mouth doesn’t mean she won’t like it in her ass.
–Williamsburg Bridge
Overheard by: Prolly
Girl: If they all died, he wouldn't have any problems.
Guy: Not everyone, just my grandmother.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Woman: My sister had a kidney removed when she was 9, and she still uses it.
–Dojo, W 4th St.
Guy: Yeah, the only reason I have kids is that, if I ever need it, I know there’s a compatible kidney around.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: kjsilopanna
Suit #1: You know why this three day weekend is so great?
Suit #2: Because it’s three days?
Suit #1: No, because the kids will be in school.
Suit #2: They don’t give them Columbus Day?
Suit #1: Nope. I guess because they get off for the Jewlidays.
Suit #2: Must be a Jersey thing.
–Madison between 55th & 56th
Young-looking 40-something: So, I've got some big news for you all…
Mother: Oh? Really?
Young-looking 40 something: We're adding a new member to the family!
Mother: You're pregnant?!
Young-looking 40-something: No, my daughter is. (tilts head towards teenage daughter)
–Cafeteria, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Headline by: Ryan
Runners-Up:
· “But, Okay, Yes, I Am Too” – Chuckles
· “Just Like Mom Used to Make ’em” – Slater
· “So You DIDN’T Just Save 15% on Car Insurance?” – benj
· “You Know It’s Time to Run for Vice-President When…” – Morning Glory
