Glittery Leopard Print? We'd Say So

Girl in fitting room: These leggings are totally going to ruin my karma.

Forever 21
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: lisa

Posted on October 23, 2018
California, Clothes, Default, Fears, Girls, Religion, Stores

I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story

Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: “What the fuck are you doing? You’re gonna pull all your hair out!” … Haha yeah… She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions… She probably watches me sleep.

UB Bus
Buffalo, New York

Posted on October 18, 2018
Advice, Bus, Character, Chicks, Education, Fears, Hair, Murder, New York, On the phone, Sorority types, Threats, Weirdness

What With Finding the Area Under My Curve

Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!

Miami University, Florida

Overheard by: bad mental picture

Posted on June 21, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Fears, Florida, Questions, Teachers

How Many National Secrets Are Spilled

Little girl to mom: This ice cream is screwing with my mind.

McDonald’s
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: heather

Posted on June 8, 2018
Default, Fears, Food, Girls, Headaches, Kids, Mental illnesses, Ohio, Restaurants

How About a Koosh Hug?

Teen (brandishing Nerf gun): I'm gonna get you! Here I come! I'm gonna shoot you right in the mouth!
Small boy: Noooo! No more Nerf kisses!

Simi Valley, California

Overheard by: the mster

Posted on December 1, 2017
California, Default, Fears, Kids, Teens, Threats, Toys

…To Paraphrase Nietzsche

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret

Posted on May 11, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Drugs, Family ties, Fears, Offers and requests, Ohio, On the phone, Weirdness, Women

Judging by the Pampered, Fat-Faced Look Of You

College tour guide, passing crying student: College is hard. You will cry.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Posted on April 9, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Fears, Feelings, Girls, Oregon, Students

Luckily So Many Other Things Taste Like Them

College girl: Just think about all the chickens that get killed every day, like just by McDonald’s.
Friend: Yeah, but you know… I don’t really care.
College girl: Oh no, I don’t care about them either, I’m just scared they’re gonna run out of chickens.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Curlee