Girl to pregnant friend: You're only three months along? Man, you think it's twins?
Pregnant girl: I hope so. And hey, if it is twins, I'll finally have two kids by the same dad.
–Uptown E train
Girl to pregnant friend: You're only three months along? Man, you think it's twins?
Pregnant girl: I hope so. And hey, if it is twins, I'll finally have two kids by the same dad.
–Uptown E train
Group of friends, singing: Tell me more! Tell me more!
Soloist: Did she poop on your face?
–19th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lotte
Little girl: Orange juice is good, but oranges are bad. Peanut butter is good, but peanuts are bad. Why?
Friend: Hahahahaha! You said penis.
Little girl: Hahahahahaah! Penis!
–M104 Bus
Guy to boyfriend: I think you're boring. I'm bored.
–W 15th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Thompson
Woman on cell: I got so bored at work that I started talking to my mosquito bite! I told it to stop making me itch.
–58th St & 9th Ave
11-year-old boy to friends: I'm not ready for death. It's boring. All you do is fly around in the air.
–7 Train
Kid to family, looking at camels: I'm just gonna come right out and say it: 'dis is really fuckin' boring!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Tyler
Theology professor, after struggling with projection screen: This is Satan doing this to me.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Crazy man with bullhorn: Hanukkah is for God, Christmas is for Satan!
–Fordham Plaza
Conductor: This is an uptown a train making all local stops. Yes, you heard right, all local stops. The e train is out of service today, as it is on a vacation to hell. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!
–A Train
Overheard by: Kirstie
Girl yelling to two friends across train: Jay-Z is like a devil worshipper. No, seriously, he's like a Freemason or whatever. They all are: him, Madonna, Britney…
–J Train
Seven-year-old tourist to mother: Are we going somewhere safe where the devil won't get me?
–34th & 28th
Man, approaching sink: Ugh, there's never any paper towels.
Friend, walking by sinks: I mean, I know my dick's not dirty.
–Penn Station Bathroom
Overheard by: Luke Wallis
Child, playing with friends: Shut up, goddam it! I said shut up!
Mother: Keep your voice down, mommy has a headache.
–6BC Community Garden
Overheard by: Sara
Bookish guy: What is a “well drink,” exactly?
Friend: I'm not sure. I've never gotten a straight answer on that.
Bookish guy: I think the bartenders dump all of the liquor they have left over into a well, and they make the drink with that.
Friend: Yeah, that sounds right.
–L Train
Overheard by: WetBandits
Old lady, observing lavish Christmas display: No, no, no. This is horrible.
Friend: What's so bad about it? Early Christmas stuff is just supposed to make you happy.
Old lady: All it does is make me feel like I'm dying even faster.
–Kohl's Store
Overheard by: ho ho ho
Older teenage boy: And I'm learning shit there, too, more shit than I learned…
Friend, interrupting: At school.
Older teenage boy: At school, yeah. And they *like* my shit there, too.
–Corner of Fashion Avenue
