Drunk guy: Did I puke on you?
Drunk girl (holding half-full pitcher and cup): You might have puked on me, but I peed and spilled beer on myself to rinse it off.
–N Train
Overheard by: Abbey C
Drunk guy: Did I puke on you?
Drunk girl (holding half-full pitcher and cup): You might have puked on me, but I peed and spilled beer on myself to rinse it off.
–N Train
Overheard by: Abbey C
Guy: We are such yuppies.
Girl: What’s a yuppie?
Guy: It stands for Young Urban Professional.
Girl: Oh, I thought it just meant anyone who lives in New York who’s under the age of 25.
–Angelika, Houston Street
Guy preaching on subway: I noticed I would always get hit on by beautiful women when I was with a woman, so I started hanging out with lesbians, and now we pick up women together.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alexis
Panhandler going through train: God bless you, will anyone spare some money? God bless you, damm! You have a pretty white girlfriend.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jackie
Woman giving out free loot: You girls are so pretty, want some condoms?
–Grand Central Station
Hobo: Why do rich men get to marry all the pretty girls, kill them, and get away with it?
–125th St
Trashed girl, coming out of bathroom: I hate when guys say, "you're pretty enough."
–Bar 9, 54th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Big slobby schlub, loudly talking to buddy: So, she was about to become another disposable pretty girl.
–W 66th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Rambling crazy man: All of you women look beautiful, but in the end, y'all still have to take a shit!
–L Train
Overheard by: The City Planner
Girl #1: Look at these pictures.
(girl #2 starts to look at pictures)
Girl #2: Oh look, my son looks like one of those… uhhh… hmmm…? I forgot what they are called.
Girl #1: A hungry child?
Girl #2: Yeaaaah, like one of those kids from a third world country.
–Buhre Avenue, Bronx
Overheard by: DaILList4Ever
Girl #1: Mom wants you to dress Jose up for Halloween.
Girl #2: He’s only 1 1/2 years old. What would I do that for?
Girl #1: Dress him up as an M&M.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
–L Train
Overheard by: Christopher
Girl #1: I really need to get fit, I need to buy a tredmill, you know, so I can just sit there and use it.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Lisa
Chick: She’s gonna have to run here… It closes at eight.
Meathead: Oh, but that bitch can run! I saw her running for birth control one time, and she fucking ran faster than me.
–Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU
Girl #1: So, like, I don't understand why everything is so… strange.
Girl #2: Strange as in… mot normal?
Girl #1: I mean strange as in weird.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenn
Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you!
–Sephora, Spring & Broadway
20 something man, jumping up as seat collapses under him: You see?! That happens to me every time I stand up from sitting on them, too. I sit down KNOWING it’s going to happen, but it always gets me.
20 something girlfriend: I know, I do the same thing.
20 something man: I mean, how hard would it be to affix some rubber or something so that it dampens the impact?
20 something girl: …and doesn’t scare everyone on the train.
20 something man: Yeah.
[Someone stands up from sitting on one at other end of train causing everyone to jump and look over.]20 something girl: See, I’m sayin!
20 something man: Actually, I think I kinda like it. It’s sort of organic, keeps you on your toes. You never know what the MTA will throw at you…
–2 Train
Overheard by: Ohiowatha
