International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

Posted on September 28, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Dating, Family Ties, Fashion, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, History & Geography, Kids, Language Barrier, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Names, One-liners, Parks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

A Mighty Wind

Guy: My dream is to fart into a bullhorn.
Girl: Wow — reach for the stars!

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Lucy

Posted on September 28, 2014
Farting & Burping, Girls, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Just Give Me a Minute to Clean Up Here

Male barista: Sorry, we're closed.
20-something girl: Can I get a tea bag to go?

–Café, Washington Square Park

Posted on September 27, 2014
Balls, Baristas, Drinks, Girls, Offers and requests, Restaurants & Cafes, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

He Was Hiding 35 Bodies in His Car

Girl: I hate clowns.
Clown guy: We hate you too.

–Church Avenue F station

Overheard by: sarah

Posted on September 27, 2014
Actors, Assholes, Comebacks, Girls, Insults, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater & Dance

200 Wednesday One-Liners, and There's Nothing to Watch.

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.

–Lehman College

Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!

–Outside of Guggenheim

Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Melissa

Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.

–J Train

Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on September 27, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Battery Park, Cancer, College, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dreams, Film, Friends, Girls, Guys, Idiots, More museums, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Store, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, The Village, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: Now in Color!

Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"

–Ridgewood, Queens

Overheard by: Squidocto

Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.

–Barnes & Noble Cafe

Overheard by: a.j.w.

Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.

–Flatbush Ave

Overheard by: mojbe

Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?

–NYU

Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer

Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!

–Outside Delancey Station

Posted on September 27, 2014
Asians, Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, India Indians, Italians, Kids, KKK, Lower East Side, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Yuppies

This Medal Smells Funny

Guy: What flavor should I get?
Drunk girl: I’d get butter pecan but I’m lactose intolerant and it’d make me shit like a champ.

–Bodega, Houston & 6th

Posted on September 27, 2014
Advice, Bodegas, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, People, Places, Poop, Soho, Topics, Venues

Whereas Alanis Morissette Really Likes Me.

Guy: I went out with this girl recently, she was nice. I'm gonna see if she calls.
Girl: What? You're not gonna call her?
Guy: I think it takes some effort on her part, she should text or call and say thank you.
Girl: I usually do it the night of the date, saying thank you.
Guy: I think that's a sign that she doesn't like me.
Girl: I don't think so.

–LIRR

Posted on September 27, 2014
Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Long Island, Questions, Relationships

Uh-Oh, All My Secrets Are Falling Out

Drunk teenage girl, yelling: Just so all of you guys know, I am underage! (long pause, then to friend) Shit, I just told them we are underage! (long pause, then to woman) Hey, you! I love your hair!

–Q Train

Posted on September 27, 2014
Body Parts, Compliments, Drunks, Girls, Offers and requests, Promiscuity, Teens, Trains Not Subway

Girls

Whereas Alanis Morissette Really Likes Me.