Wish I Could Say the Same

Girl #1: I can’t believe you fucked him in my bed!
Girl #2: Well, I made sure that he didn’t cum on your sheets!
Girl #1: How thoughtful of you.

–Rivington & Allen

Overheard by: Snorted through my nose

Posted on July 30, 2017
Bimbettes, Chinatown, Comebacks, Cum, Fighting and ass kicking, Girls, Sex

He Tricked Me!

Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year's resolution was to… keep my legs closed a little better?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in upholding it.
Cute girl #2: But it's January 2!

–Bleecker & Bowery

Overheard by: Unimpressed, but amused

Posted on July 28, 2017
Girls, Holidays, Promiscuity, Sex, Union Square and East Village

Children Shouldn’t Be Kicked at All

Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.

–6 train

Posted on July 23, 2017
Babies, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Um, Didn't He Once Throw a Phone at His Assistant?

20-something girl, holding SpongeBob Square Pants playing cards: Look at the cards I'm getting!
Friend, shrieking and shaking: But I hate SpongeBob!
Woman, walking by: Why? He's nice.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on July 18, 2017
Duane Reade, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Strangers, TV, Women

When Amy Doesn’t Understand Something, She Faints

Columbia professor [having just explained a relatively simple concept, turning to girl in front]: Do you understand this?
Girl: Yes.
Professor: Good. Because, you know, you’re really the canary in the coal mine for this class. If I can get you to get this, I’m set.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Bobby

Posted on July 17, 2017
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Insults, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Strike Hard and Fade Away Without a Trace

Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: pumpkin

Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.

–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island

Overheard by: Green Star

Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…

Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.

–Flatiron District