Woman on phone: I don’t care if she did have a gun, they can’t just stick a 16-year-old in with the general population!
–University Pl
Woman on phone: I don’t care if she did have a gun, they can’t just stick a 16-year-old in with the general population!
–University Pl
Tween girl: … But I can’t go out with him! He’s my brother!
Friend #1: But he’s your step-brother, not your real brother.
Friend #2: I would.
–39th & Broadway
Overheard by: Yournamehere
Woman on phone: This is completely unacceptable! You work for the United States Government, and this is completely unacceptable!
Crazy old man: Shut up, you stupid cow!
–Hudson & Charles
Ditz #1: I hate libraries.
Ditz #2: I know, they're so stressful.
Ditz #1: I even hate Barnes & Noble, it's so hard to understand how they organize books in there!
–Eugene Lang College, New School University
Overheard by: Ashamed that I go to this school
Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.
–Locker room, Hunter College
Overheard by: embarrassed to go here
Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.
–Times Square
Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.
–Jersey Transit
Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!
–13th & 3rd
Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!
–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ross
Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
Mother: … And I cleaned your pillow cases…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your blankets…
Screaming child: No!
Mother: … And your sheets!
Screaming child: No! No! No! [Cries.]
–Astoria
Overheard by: Almost too cold to laugh
Wannabe socialite #1: God, I hate everyone in this part of town.
Wannabe socialite #2: I know, right? I mean… they walk so slowly, and talk so much nonsense.
(pause)
Wannabe socialite #1: The coke hangover can’t help though, can it?
Wanna be socialite #2: Definitely not.
–Broadway & Spring
Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…
Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.
–Gallery Players, Park Slope
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.
–Lincoln Center
Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!
–Walgreens, Union Square
Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Minerva
Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
Scary, stalker queer: Hello! You’re really cute.
Scared, stalked queer: I have to consult my lawyer, but I am pretty sure your breath constitutes me suing you for assault.
–Fire Island Pines
Overheard by: Bathroom Spy
