Guy #1: So how was your weekend? Did you go on the trip?
Guy #2: It was insane man, a real pagan festival.
Guy #1: Really?
Guy #2: Yeah, naked girls worshiping a giant tree. Totally crazy.
Guy #1: Did you make a love connection?
Guy #2: I actually made a few love connections, if you know what I mean…
–Men's Room, Hiro Ballroom
Overheard by: Yeah, we know what you mean…
Girl: Did you hear about Barbara Walters and the affairs she had when she was younger? It shocked me.
Guy: Why'd it shock you? A lot of these older people did a lot of crazy shit when they were younger, from violence to sex. How do you think at least 50% of us were born? And she looked kinda good then, I'd have done 'er.
Girl (shaking her head): Just about everybody is fucked up.
Guy (growling and laughing): Don't groan about it, it's nature baby. Us people today are just the latest ones on the scene.
–8th St & 6 Ave
Overheard by: savon
Guy on cell: Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Can you hear me? Suppose there is no god. (pause) Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
–Bus
Overheard by: Is God trying to tell you something?
Intense man, grasping woman's shoulders: God wanted me to, and I was ready to.
–Near Riverside Church, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: I wish I knew more
Guy, in awed tones, hearing "Le nozze di Figaro" through open window: It's like the voice of God…
–The Bronx
Overheard by: ground floor music lover
Crazy man: There is only one God. There is only one real deal. I can't afford sex anymore.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: That took a turn
Older guy: What time is it?
Younger guy: Tuesday.
Translated from the Spanish.
–91st & Columbus
Overheard by: Jane T.
Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Lyssa
Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.
–Prince & Lafayette
Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?
–D Train
Overheard by: 4-dumb
Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jas
Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!
–1st & York
Overheard by: Not quite as excited
Guy hitting on girl: So where are you from?
Disinterested girl: New York.
Guy hitting on girl: No, where are you originally from?
Disinterested girl: My parents.
–East Village Bar
Hoodie: Who’s that guy who takes all the pictures of the little girls?
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Keith Scott
20-something woman to man: You've never been arrested? I have never met anyone that has not been arrested!
–Le Charlot Restaurant, Upper East Side
Angry guy on cell: If you ever send e-mail to my family again, I will wait outside your apartment door! (pause) I got arrested! I spent Thanksgiving in jail!
–11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Man in US Correctional Services jacket to another looking around hectically in a large crowd: Make sure we don't lose him!
–Penn Station
Chubby well-dressed black dude to skinny white geeky friends: Time in prison can be good for the soul!
–F Train
Overheard by: MissMae
Guy on cell: Yeah man, she's like a young girl, and she's driving me nuts. It's like always a fight with her. I mean, she's so young, yo… But yeah, I mean, she's a sweetheart. I mean, she's a good girl. So young. Like, we've been together for 7 months and that ain't nothing to me, but to her it's a big deal. And I'm all like, shit, I've been in jail for longer than 7 months, you know, so I don't know what she's bitching about. I don't need her to make me miserable. I can make myself miserable.
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Meaghan
Fran Drescher sound-alike: What's wrong with you? Don't applaud, I'm going to jail!
–Eight Mile Creek, Mullberry Street
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy (surprised): But there was no mangina there!
Girl (equally surprised): Yeah! There was nobody wearing any strap-on parts at all! I was disappointed.
–Pete's Candy Store, Williamsburg
