One Wednesday One-Liner in Four, Maybe More

Queer on cell: Okay, but I’m taking the turkey with me when I leave, ’cause I’m bored.

–50th & 8th

Overheard by: amelia

Queer: I’ve become a statistic these days… I smoke a cigarette, drink my latte, talk on the phone, and drive all at the same time. What? Oh, yeah, and the occasional hand job, you’re right, I forgot…

–Chelsea Cafe

Overheard by: TJ

Queer on cell: … And then she called me and asked for advice on starving herself.

–Fung Wah Bus

Overheard by: nina

Queer: How can he still be dating her? She’s bearded! We told her she has a beard, and she didn’t do anything about it! That’s like someone telling me I have a goiter and not doing anything about it.

–116th & Broadway

Guy on cell: That’s what I love about being a gay man. I don’t wanna hear your shit, I don’t wanna hear your life story, just put your cock in my mouth.

–7th Ave & 26th St

Overheard by: Raze One

Posted on February 9, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Health and Hygiene, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys

Al-Qaeda: Hmmm…

Mother to son, as he exits camel ride: Were you scared?
Son: The part that was scariest was the germs.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: mully

Posted on February 6, 2015
Boys, Fears, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Questions, The Bronx, Threats, Tourist Attractions, Weirdness

“Hole foods?”

Guy #1: So I had my colonoscopy Tuesday. It was like I lost an hour out of my life.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Oh that stuff they give you to make you sleepy. It gives you
amnesia or something.
Guy #2: That’s messed up.
Guy #1: So my girlfriend tells me afterwords like five times that they removed a polyp and that they think it could be pre-cancerous. I won’t know until next week or something.
Guy #2: So where do you want to get lunch?

–Wall between Pearl & Hanover

Overheard by: Barb Ordell

Posted on February 6, 2015
Food, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Poop, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

You Should Take That As a Sign to Fuck Me

Fashionista queer: Excuse me, could I bum a cigarette?
Rocker queer: Sorry, I don't smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It's bad for you!
Fashionista queer: Who cares, I'm skinny!

–Cafeteria, 17th & 7th

Overheard by: Nellee

Posted on February 6, 2015
Advice, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Diet/Weight, Fashionistas, Health and Hygiene, Offers and requests, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Skinny People, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking

So Much Poor Hygiene in Such a Small Space

Freshman girl to friend: It smells like ass in here.
Junior girl with purple hair: I think it smells like stinky vagina!

–Queens College Campus

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on February 3, 2015
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Queens, Queens College, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Students, Vagina

Do I Look Like a Congressman to You?

Wasted yuppie dude: Officer, officer!
Cop: Yeah?
Wasted yuppie dude: That bouncer at Stan's?
Cop: Yeah?
Wasted yuppie dude: He's on fucking steroids!
Cop: So?

–159th St & River Ave, Bronx

Overheard by: Matt

Posted on February 2, 2015
Cops, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Questions, The Bronx, Yuppies

It’ll Be Just Like Playing Cat’s Cradle

Tween girl #1: I don’t understand why anyone would be pro-life.
Tween girl #2: Yeah, I’m gonna get my tubes tied once I’m old enough.

–16th & 2nd

Overheard by: alex duncan

Posted on February 2, 2015
Abortion, Body Parts, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Places, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Topics, Tweens

She’ll Look Her Best Just Before She Disappears

Girl: I think my roommate is anorexic — she never eats, and she’s lost like 40 pounds this year.
Gay friend: Good for her!

–Dojo’s, East Village

Posted on January 31, 2015
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Queers

…In the Shape Of Three 6's.

Creepy drunk guy: I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and hit on you some more.
Girl to friend: I fucking hope not, I think that guy has an open wound on his arm.

–W 12th