Woman to friend: So you're back in New York again.
Hobo drinking Starbucks, passing by: This isn't New York. (pause) This is heaven.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Woman to friend: So you're back in New York again.
Hobo drinking Starbucks, passing by: This isn't New York. (pause) This is heaven.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
30-something to friend: I can't believe you'd have sex with that homeless person.
Friend: Well, they have to have sex with someone!
–Waverly Place & 6th Ave
Old black hobo: Folks… Look inside your heart. I am hungry and I am homeless. Please help me with some food or something. Look inside your heart.
(young black teenager keeps waving a subway sandwich in his face while hobo continues to rant)
Old black hobo: Look inside your heart. I am so hungry. Just look inside your heart!
Young black teenager, real pissed off: Sucka, look inside this bag! There's a sandwich in here!
–1 Train
Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!
–Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
–17th St
Overheard by: Lillian
Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Jen
60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!
–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera
Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.
–45th & 3rd
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Hobo: Anybody got the time?
Peeing guy: Yeah, it's 4:40.
Hobo: In the afternoon?
–Bathroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Eric
Girl to friend: He's Indian! How can he be homeless?
–Union Square
Crazy Asian lady: I think everyone should experience jail and being homeless at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.
–Pinkberry, 32nd St
Suit, screaming: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these homeless people. They have a perfect life. Free samples at every corner. Apple Store is open 24/7, which means good shelter. Gahh!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hespeakstruth
Flamboyantly elegant gay guy to female friend: Would you rather lick this entire subway platform or have a homeless woman eat your pussy?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Katie
Disheveled hobo sticking head in through closing doors: Hold the door for me, I'll be right back. I'm going for a smoke.
–C Train
20-something hipster: I haven't seen that bum before.
Girlfriend: Keep walking, it's not like you know him.
20-something hipster: He must be from New Jersey. I hate bums from New Jersey, they're so stuck up!
–Times Square
Overheard by: llennnn16
Horrified woman to cop: Um, sir? There's a homeless man by the garbage can with his pants down.
Cop, exasperated: Awwww, naked guy!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Fi
