Hot male nurse: Is there anything else that’s bothering you?
Drunk girl: Yeah, I want to puke, and I need to get laid.
–Saint Luke’s Hospital
Overheard by: evie
Hot male nurse: Is there anything else that’s bothering you?
Drunk girl: Yeah, I want to puke, and I need to get laid.
–Saint Luke’s Hospital
Overheard by: evie
Female doctor: How’s your baby?
Male doctor: Oh, you know — small.
–Beth Israel Medical Center
Overheard by: Blackbuttoneyes
Doctor: What do you mean you vomited? When did you find the time to vomit? I don’t care if you’re in California, get on a plane back here! What do you mean, you vomited? How could you?!
–Lenox Hill Hospital
Overheard by: mademoisellezoo
Little boy, waiting in line to see “Bodies” exhibit: Are there gonna be rides?
–South Street Seaport
Little girl, playing with her inattentive mother’s cell: Nine… One…
–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wee e
Little girl, humming to herself: Cat cat dog, I am a tree! Eeeee! Minute Maid Coke, I am a poodle! Eeeee!
–Brooklyn bound Q train
Little boy: Eddie, I like that torture a lot!
–Dizzy’s, 9th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Little girl: Mom, I am highly disappointed in the construction.
–71st Rd, Forest Hills
3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?
–13th & University
Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody’s pants!
–Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Jobee
Arguably redeemable patient: What is the fee for breast implants?
Secretary: $1100
Arguably redeemable patient: $1100? Does that include, like, installation?
–NY Presbyterian Hospital, E 68th St
Overheard by: Johnny Drama
Little girl: Mommy, can you go to the hospital and get me a baby sister?
Mother: Go ask daddy.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hbs
ER admitting doctor with infinite patience: It’s just sore gums, probably from flossing. No need to worry.
Baroness Munchaussen: But it could get infected, right? And I could die, right?
Doctor: Has anyone ever died from this in the history of mankind? Maybe. But you could also walk out of the hospital and be hit by a bus. You have a better chance of that happening.
Baroness: So you’re saying I could die from this, and I shouldn’t leave the hospital?
–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Emergency Room
Friend of patient: Has this woman been admitted yet? She’s been here since 6 o’clock.
Triage nurse: She’s not going to hear her name called sitting over here. She needs to be in the waiting room. They’ll call for her when they can take her.
Friend: She’s deaf.
Short pause.
Nurse: Well either way, she’s not going to hear it.
–New York Methodist Hospital, Park Slope
Overheard by: connor
Crazy woman: What? Yes, send me the numbers, I’ll help you with the numbers.
Med chick: Oh, excuse me. I’m sorry.
Crazy woman: You dont have to be sorry, but if you want to make it up to me, make me some General Tso chicken and a pu pu platter…Why didn’t you call me? By the way, who the fuck is Milstein?
–Milstein Hospital, Fort Washington Avenue
Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
