Hunter

Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?

–51st St & Lexington

Overheard by: jake-e

Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: I guess not a normal person

Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.

–Hunter College

Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.

–Museum of Natural History

Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!

–Shuttle to Times Square

Wigger #1: Yo, son, you’re not comin’ through this weekend and shit. Where you at?
Wigger #2: Yo, it’s like Yom Kippur and shit.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: j.anna

Asshole: Hey, do you have a cigarette?
Stranger #1: No.
Stranger #2: You can have one of mine.
Asshole: Thanks, this guy (points) has some, but he won't give me one.
(stranger #1 gives asshole cigarette and a white lighter)
Asshole, lighting cigarette: Hey, you know white lighters are bad luck?
Stranger #1: So?
Asshole: You should get a new lighter.
Stranger #1: You should get your own fucking cigarette.
Stranger #2: Yeah, fuck you!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: off white

NYU frat boy to another: Remember that time you popped that zit on my dick?!

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Overheard by: lezbotron

Older suit to younger suit: If you want people to move out of your way you just gotta say shit like: pussy, dick, cunt! (people move out of the way) See?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Brad

Thug to another, exiting a deli: The Salvation Army can suck my dick.

–Stanton & Ludlow

Overheard by: CN

Girl wearing hijab: That depends on whose dick it is!

–Hunter College, 68th & Lexington

Overheard by: off white

Girl #1: So, I had tofu the other day.
Girl #2: What’s tofu?
Girl #1: That stuff that looks like cheese but isn’t.
Girl #2: What does it taste like?
Girl #1: It kinda tastes like meat and spaghetti… but there’s no meat in it.
Girl #2: Then how the hell does it taste like meat?
Girl #1: I dunno. Maybe there is meat in it after all.
Girl #2: True, true.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: That’s news to me

Very enthusiastic female undergrad: And there were a bunch of questions on the test about sadomasochism, and I was like, “yes! I know everything!”

–Hunter College

Overheard by: And I'm Paying How Much in Tuition?

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.

–N Train

Overheard by: annearchist

Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?

–Hunter College

Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?

–JCPenny

Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Samantha

Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nicole

Girl: …because I feel like we’re going out. It’s just that he won’t call me.

–Dunkin’ Donuts, E 14th St

Overheard by: MK

Homegirl to boyfriend: No, no, that’s not what I said, that’s what you heard.

–1st & Ave B

Overheard by: Mollena

Girl: In the last few years, every time I go away to Paris with someone, I end up breaking up with them.

–San Loco, 7th St & 2nd Ave

B&T girl #1 to B&T girl #2: If you lived in NYC, you’d totally find a boyfriend. You totally, totally would.

–LIRR to Penn Station

Overheard by: Pia Peanutbuttas

Sassy chick: I was having a glass of wine with him, and he didn’t have anything to say to me. So I licked his ear.

–Harlem

Overheard by: McN

Shrewd observer: That’s not dating. It’s called being on parole.

–West Building, Hunter College

Woman on cell: Well, I happen to like our Goddamn relationship, thank you very much!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Mike

Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.

–Locker room, Hunter College

Overheard by: embarrassed to go here

Dad: See that building, honey?
Little daughter: Yeah
Dad: It’s Hunter College. It’s where they train hunters! Elmer Fudd goes there.
Little daughter: Uh hum.

–M79 bus