Hunter

English teacher: Class, I’d like you to remember where the line is. It is always moving, and it is determined by me.

–Bronx Science

Overheard by: HJWC

English teacher: I rose up into the air and flew out the window… You didn’t notice this?

–Hunter College High

Overheard by: stupid english student

Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this classroom, and I am completely serious. Number one, no swearing. Number two, no scuffles. Number three, no sex until 3:20 when you can do what you want.

–Grace Church School

Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bathroom stall graffiti! My favorite from this school is in the third floor bathroom: ‘If you can read this, you are pooping.’

–Bard High School Early College

Teacher to another: You are a hemorrhoid in my ass.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symptom of suicide.

–Hunter College High

English teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay attention. You might learn something.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

College bro: No, you don't understand. Thinking about the processes of government turns me on.
College chick: Really?
College bro: For serious. I think about dick Cheney and I get hard. I would vote for him and give up my right to vote if he could be supreme dictator.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: theclanmacgregor

Guy: Do you go to FDU?
Girl: No, I got to Hunter. It’s in Manhattan; have you heard of it?
Guy: No, but where is it?
Girl: Do you know the city?
Guy: Of course!
Girl: 68th and Lexington.
Guy: That’s near the Village, right?
Girl: No, it’s on the Upper East Side.
Guy: Oh. Well, I usually hang out in the Village. Down by Avenue A and Avenue B.
Girl: Um.

–A train

Overheard by: Brown Eyed Girl

Student: How was your break?
Math teacher: Screw you!

–Hunter College High School

Overheard by: citysnidget

Guy #1: Are you Xander with an x or Zander with a z?
Guy #2: An x.
Guy #1: Nobody likes a Xander with a z.

–Hunter College

20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.

–9th Ave & 45th St

Overheard by: Serena

Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.

–Hunter College High School

Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?

–Citi Bar

Overheard by: Lulu

20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.

–Locker Room, Crunch Gym

Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"

–5th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Sue

Student: For my song poem, I chose ‘Always and Forever,’ remade by Luther Vandross.
Professor, singing: Always and forever, each moment with you is just like a dream to me that somehow came true…
Student: Ahem. I have to read the poem. [After student is done reading, professor leads class in singing the whole song.]

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!

–NYU Hayden Staircase

Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza

Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!

–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St

Overheard by: Cassie

20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.

–Chipotle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.

–Near Holland Tunnel

Overheard by: Claire H.

Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!

–6th & Ave A

Overheard by: Kremilyse

30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Businessguy: …and then she said, “Let’s meet up in Barcelona next weekend.” Like that’s close!
Businesswoman: You have bonus miles though, don’t you? Plus, you need a vacation anyway, so why not?
Businessman: I’d rather have her come visit me on American soil, like we could go to Montreal for the Grand Prix maybe…

–70th & Lex

Professor: If you’ll notice, in these studies, there are some where they only have samples of males. Can anyone tell me why that might be?
Student: Because men die.

–Hunter College, cultural anthropology classroom

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl