Math professor to sleeping student: Hey, are you okay?
Student: Nuh?
Math professor to class: Well, I've rarely killed someone during a lecture, but I must be breaking new ground today.
–Hunter College
Math professor to sleeping student: Hey, are you okay?
Student: Nuh?
Math professor to class: Well, I've rarely killed someone during a lecture, but I must be breaking new ground today.
–Hunter College
Woman to security guard: Excuse me, did you see a man with a really large package? I'm looking for a man with a large package. Did he come by yet?
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
LIRR worker, yelling over tracks to another who is carrying huge bolt fastener: Hey! Nice nuts!
–Woodside Station
Overheard by: Jobee
Lab instructor, showing students how to breathe carbon dioxide by blowing into the test tube through a straw: Don't blow too hard, or else the whole thing will come up all over your face.
–Biology Lab, Hunter College
Overheard by: did anyone else catch that?
Very old woman to decorative hardware salesman: It's become such a problem–I just can't seem to keep my knobs tight anymore!
–Gracious Home, 67th St & Broadway
Mother waiting for kid in the bathroom: Billy, will you stop singing and just come?
–Waiting Room, Grand Central
English professor: So who here is eligible to vote but isn't?
(student raises hand)
English professor: Why aren't you voting?
Ditzy Asian girl: I dunno… I just don't know who to vote for.
English professor: But…they're so different. They're like chocolate ice cream and…gravel.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Shakti
Girl: So what are you going to be for Halloween?
Guy: Retarded Hitler.
Girl: Oy vey!
–Hunter College
Homeless man, watching cute little mouse: That mouse is aggressive! It'll attack you if provoked.
–Central Park
Concerned Long Island tween, pointing at a rat in the tracks: Oh my god, how did a squirrel get in here? Seriously, we should help it.
–W 4th St Station
Father to daughters, with head cocked up listening to dark void in the platform: Hear that, girls? The rats are playing.
–96th & Broadway Subway Platform
Overheard by: sueinthecity
Random blond chick: I don't wanna be the fricking mouse.
–Asian Restaurant, Chinatown
Dude: I was raised with rodents.
–Hunter College
Eight-year-old Italian kid to another: Hey, you know that bracelet you got at the feast? The next day I saw a mouse with it around his neck, swear to god!
–Lorimer & Maujer, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Natalya Petrovna
Girl #1: Is it paranoid to think that my mother is poisoning me?
Girl #2: No, not at all.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Mariya
English teacher: Alright class, let us come together and share our lists of literary terms. (pause) Just so we’re clear, "Lolcat" is not a literary term.
–Stuyvesant High School
Math teacher: Does everyone get why I can just get rid of the 8 in this equation? Because I’m just looking for an answer. (takes a deep sigh) …Aren’t we all?
–Hunter College High School
Math teacher: We might start this unit tomorrow–maybe not. Depends on how my jury duty goes. I just need to keep convincing them that I have no faith in the criminal justice system.
–Hunter College High School
Teacher: No excuses, we do not climb the walls!
–PS 234
Overheard by: sjhaughty
English teacher: It was the year after they invented college and I was in college…
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
English teacher: I love going to the supermarket because I love scaring little kids. I’ll be like: "Hellooo little boy," and he’ll run away screaming. Ah, I love shopping.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Suit: Do you know what it’s like when you’re reading the news and you get 19 clips of Brazilian women fucking?
–Astor Place & Lafayette
Overheard by: that’s a problem?
Woman to dinner companion: I think I’d like to get into flagellation porn. I’m not really sure how to go about it though.
–Ludlow & Broome
Random girl, during lull in party conversation: But it’s straight porn!
–Bleecker & W 10th
Overheard by: Deontology
Guy: I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last person on earth! There had better be porn on cable!
–5 Train
Professor: Does anyone know Henry Miller? [Girl raises her hand.] You and those of us… those of us who had to resort to the Sears Roebuck catalog for porn… Well, when we got older we had to turn to higher literature so we’d flip through Henry Miller for delightful dirty passages.
–Religion Class, Hunter College
Overheard by: liza
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I didn’t say anything.
Guy #2: Me neither.
Guy #1: Don’t talk to me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Hugh
Girl: If I ever get arrested, I’ll just punch myself and claim police brutality.
Guy: Oh, really?
Girl: Yeah, that’s like, one of our rights. We have all kinds of rights. They’re in the amendments. There are like, nine of them.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Cori
