Drunk: Where’s my boy, man?
–Odessa, Ave. A
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man?
–Odessa, Ave. A
Woman: Move in, motherfuckers, move in!
Yuppie guy: Wait for the next one, this is too packed.
Woman: Bitch, I have to be on this train!
Yuppie guy: This isn’t the train to heaven, you know. It’s, like, going to Queens.
–F train
Overheard by: Nickicaps
Puerto Rican Mets fan in day parade, singing: "Aye girl, lemme smell yo feet, aye girl lemme smell yo feet, oooh oooh oooh, lemme smell yo feet."
–Union Square
Egg-shaped man with cane, singing to the tune of "What a Wonderful World": I see little boys, and little girls, they have good parents, but they get screwed up anyway… And I think to myself, I love the babies…
–L Train
Large woman, to the tune of "We Are All One Body": "We ain't with no retards! We man's chil'ren of the world!" (female friend sits across from her) I wish I could fuck every girl in the world!
–Metro-North Rail
Thug, dressed top to toe in Ed Hardy gear, singing in Eva Gabor accent: "Dahling I love you but give me Park Avenue!"
–51st St & Park Ave
Boy in hallway, singing: "Don't want to close my eyes, don't wanna fall… (laughter from inside closed apartment) Heh-heh… Shutthefuckup!
–NYU Dorm
Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It's in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lacy
NYU kid yelling to band from dorm window: Hey! You suck!
Singer at nice event: Uh, this is for charity.
–W 4th & MacDougal
Boy: When I was little I used to think that if the planet got heavy enough, it would start to fall.
Friend: You must have been pretty smart to even think that when you were a little kid.
Boy: But what if I still think that?
Friends: Then you're a dumb ass.
–C Train
Overheard by: Rafael DaSilva
Chick on cell: What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…I can’t believe you said that. Say it again!…I haven’t spoken to you in so long and I finally fuckin’ call and that’s what you have to say?…Well fuck you, you fuckin’ bitch!
–F train
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!
–Art Gallery, SoHo
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Stoned hipster girl #1: Have you looked at your chest recently?
Stoned hipster girl #2: Have you looked at your tortilla? It looks like you smeared it with shit.
–93rd & Broadway
Angry 20-something girl: Dad, you realize that when you refuse to give me the keys to my car that he's been illegally driving, you are effective enabling him to steal from me!
Confused-looking dad: Well, I understand how you feel, honey, really I do, but…
Angry 20-something girl (cutting him off): Don't fucking placate me, you sonofabitch!
Confused-looking dad (looking helplessly toward his wife): Cheryl…your daughter is yelling at me using profanity and words I don't know.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Krystal
