Seven-year-old boy is gently cooing to his three-month-old sister, then suddenly bursts into aggravated yell: You have no intellect!
–Uptown F train
Overheard by: Sam
Seven-year-old boy is gently cooing to his three-month-old sister, then suddenly bursts into aggravated yell: You have no intellect!
–Uptown F train
Overheard by: Sam
Queer pointing at eccentric woman reading sides of soup cans with a spy glass: I want to be more like that.
Girl: What, ugly?
–Food Emporium, 50th St & 8th Ave
Girl #1: But what exactly does that mean, ‘Doesn’t shit where he eats’? I’ll kick his ass…
Girl #2: It means ‘not dating someone you work with.’
Girl #1: Oh, okay. I thought he was saying my pussy smells bad…
–Nation Bar, 45th St
Girl: Do you think I should have a party?
Mother: No, no one would come.
Girl: Why not?
Mother: Because you smell.
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Drunk girl: I look like a Halloween movie — like Freddie the 13th. Wait, that’s not right.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Juggs Photographer
30-something woman: I’ve come to realize that there’s never going to be a Lloyd Dobbler. There won’t be any boom boxes.
–Prospect Park
Hushed female voice during screening of Short Bus: What the fuck does this have to do with hooking up in New York post-9/11? Take this hippie-dippy crap back to Portland! Ewww! God, take your carriage clock and shove it!
–Landmark Sunshine Theatre, Houston St
Middle-aged tourist to husband: They are so dramatic with all of the security here… It’s just like a movie.
–Church St, by World Trade Center
UPS Guy: I swear to you, Joey, I seen a lot of movies in my time and this movie is not to be missed. I swear, it’s definitely one of the ten best I’ve ever seen. And I’m a big movie buff. They have it at Blockbuster — you have to rent it. It’s called Nanny McPhee. You got that? Nanny McPhee.
–34th & Broadway
Woman: It’s like watching The Sound of Music and The Exorcist at the same time!
–Starbucks, Financial District
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: That movie had more male pube shots in it than any movie I’ve ever seen.
–Starbucks, 66th & Columbus
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
White girl: I don’t get that girl. I just don’t like her.
Black boyfriend: Why?
White girl: Because if I don’t like someone, I tell them. Straight at their face, I’m like, ‘I don’t like you.’ But she be talking behind people’s backs and shit. It’s not cool, yo.
Black boyfriend: Yeah.
White girl: And she thinks she’s ghetto, but she’s not. We ghetto — she’s not.
–Uptown C platform, 34th St
Hipster #1: He was just ghetto. I walked in and there were Mountain Dew bottles on every surface. Ghetto.
Hipster #2: Mountain Dew is ghetto?
–Grammercy Park
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, ‘Ashley’ is a popular American name.
Ghetto girl #2: The only girls I know named ‘Ashley’ are skinny white bitches.
Skinny white girl sitting next to them: Uh, that’s my name.
–Downtown 3 train
Old lady: Are you getting off at this stop?
Guy: The train hasn’t stopped yet.
Old lady: I know, but I want to be ready when it does.
Guy: Don’t worry, you’ll be ready.
Old lady: Yeah, but you’re a lot bigger than I am.
Guy: I’m not going to block the door.
Old lady: Yeah, but I’m carrying a lot heavier bags than you are.
Guy: You should get a cart.
Old lady: You should get a donkey!
Guy: A donkey? I’ll consider it.
–N Train approaching Queensboro Bridge
Overheard by: Laughing N Train
