Insults

Petite woman: Just because you are taller doesn’t mean you are stronger. I have more power in my finger than that broad! One flick from me and she’d be on her ass!

–43rd & 6th

Guy on cell: I’ve got the dogs. I’ve got your mother’s latte. I’ve got your cappuccino, and I’m willing to go back for a movie but you’ve got to drive me…Hello? Hello?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: amb

Chick: My boss never actually reads her e-mail. I forwarded her a message with someone’s address, but she only read the first line and responded “Where’s the address”? I mean, scroll down bitch! Jeeeeez.

–Maiden Lane

Overheard by: J

Yoga instructor: I am totally never going back to Dop Dop again. They kept telling people I’m really a brunette.

–Equinox, 50th Street

Girl: And you know what? After having a few accidents, I just decided to wear pads, to let it flow naturally.

–College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Woman on cell: So she says to me, “Oh, you’re so interesting”, and I’m like, “Fuck you, you fucking cunt.”

–57th & 5th

Overheard by: Heather

Gay guy: Oh fuck, motherfucker!
Female friend: Why must you be so white?

–Bleecker & 7th Ave

Overheard by: molina1230

Pre-dad: That fuckin’ thing is getting ready to pop out next week.

–Fulton between Broadway & Center

Drunk guy: Oh, kick that dart! I mean dog. I mean, is that a puppy? Oh, it’s a ball.
Teen boy: It’s a ball, are you blind?

–96th & Broadway

20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying.
Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British?
20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Locational

Redhead: That woman is such a cunt.
Dressy guy: How come it’s okay for you to say ‘cunt,’ but if I say it you get all up in a snit?
Redhead: It’s like ‘nigger.’ You can only say it if you are one. [Eyes open wide, mouth gapes, mortified] Oh my god, I can’t believe I just said that.

–Nathan’s, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Girl #1: You're making me very mad.
Boy: Well, you're making me very sad.
Girl #2: Both of you shut the fuck up right now.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.

–Madison Avenue

Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh

Guy #1: You the Grinch, nigga!
Guy #2: I'm the Grinch? How?
Guy #1: I dunno. You just the Grinch.
Guy #2: You're the Grinch, you little fuck!
Guy #1: I can't be the Grinch. I have Christmas spirit.

–F Train

Woman #1: Any time she needs a cigarette, she comes to me.
Woman #2: Uh-huh.
Woman #1: And I be, like, when I need a cigarette, why ain't your monkey-ass never have none?

–Marcy & Fulton, Brooklyn