Spanish babysitter: These people are working me to death. They have me doing all their errands.
French babysitter: I know.
Spanish babysitter: I hate my job!
Four-year-old boy: No, you can't say that. You should always say “I don't like my job.”
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: z
Little kid: Hey, mom, look! You can see the moon!
Ghetto mom: Shut up! You can't see no moon when the sun out. Sit down 'fore I bust yo little ass!
Little kid: But I can see the moon!
Nice older lady to kid: You're right, honey. You can see the moon when the sun is out. The moon is bright because of the sun.
Kid to mom: See, I told you I could see the moon?
Ghetto mom: That bitch lyin'!
–A Train
Overheard by: innocent mta customer
Mom: Eat this first and then you can have your Lucky Charms.
Little boy: No! I hate banana!
Mom: You do not; you were begging me for banana on Sunday. Fine. Turkey bacon, then.
Little boy: No.
Mom: Fine. Nothing for you. Say, “OK, Mommy.”
Little boy: You’re mean.
Mom: You’re lucky to have a mean mommy.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Kate Lane
Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married.
–West 47th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Peter G
Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant.
–Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: McF
Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels!
–5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope
Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell.
–NY Public Library, East 96th St
Overheard by: Diane
Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper?
–MoMA cafe
Overheard by: Sweettart
Conductor (over PA system): Make sure you pick up all your belongings… If you have small children, be sure to take them by the hand before leaving the train. Thank you for riding New Jersey transit, and have a great day.
Jersey girl (to suit): Now see, I don’t have children! They haven’t thought these announcements through.
–NJ Transit
Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees…
Mom: You're the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!
–Uptown D Train
Little girl playing a Nintendo DS: Yes! Yes!
Mother: What happened?
Little girl: Never mind, Mom. You just wouldn’t understand.
–E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Little boy: My daddy took my games away.
Mother: Why? Were you being bad?
Little boy: NO! Daddy was being bad; I had to kick his ass!
–A train
Overheard by: Gen
Mom to a seven-year-old kid on school bus: Fucking animal, I’ll fucking kill you!
Seven-year-old bully: Suck my dick, you ugly bitch!
Mom to son: Every fucking day! I can’t stand this shit!
–11th St & 4th ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Wish she didn’t live on the block
Son having tantrum: I don't want to go to the park! (throws his coat on the ground)
Father: Did you just take your coat off? I'm going to tell the Virgin Mary you're not wearing your coat, and then you know it will get back to Santa!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: canvasser
