Woman #1: Didn’t she send her children to Israel?
Woman #2: No, that was Germany. It was free, one of those “Sorry we killed your family, come back and see us sometime” things.
–Sunnyside, SI
Woman #1: Didn’t she send her children to Israel?
Woman #2: No, that was Germany. It was free, one of those “Sorry we killed your family, come back and see us sometime” things.
–Sunnyside, SI
Boy (shouting): Damn son, smell like train up in here!
Flaming gay guy: You aint smellin' like flowers either, 'kay?
–D Train
Grandma to kid: It’s really hard to kill people, you know.
–West Village
(20-something sits down and stretches his arms out in a yawn)
Man sitting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you.
–1 Train
Middle-aged beefcake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not trying anymore because he’s dead.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: bildita
Suit on cell: He was a great guy, until he decided to kill someone.
–Smith & Wollensky
Loud woman on payphone (very angrily): Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her? Mausoleum? What? What the fuck?
–96th & Madison
Overheard by: grateful undead
Seven-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Obama!
–125th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: The Drummey
HS kid #1: You know what teflon is?
HS kid #2: No.
HS kid #1: It’s the stuff you coat bullets with so that they’ll pierce a bulletproof vest.
–23rd St. & Broadway
Overheard by: M Cohn
Kid: John Paul II was like Furby…and this new guy is like a gremlin.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: jessi
Mom: Don’t lean over the tracks like that.
Five-year-old son: I’m just looking for the train.
Mom: It’s dangerous, you could fall.
Five-year-old son: Daddy’s doing it. You’re not saying it to him.
Mom: I’m your mother, and I told you to stop. Daddy can do what he wants. [Boy sulks for a few minutes.] Okay, do you want to call Grandma when we get home so she can yell at Daddy for leaning over the tracks?
Five-year-old son: Yes.
–34th St subway platform
Suit on cell: Never make any decisions after drinking two pitchers of beer. After the first one, I was like "okay, this is what I'm doing." But after the second one, I ended up as director of the D.C. United Way. At first, I wasn't too worried, because I figured they'd give me a drug test, and I knew I wouldn't pass.
–6 Train
Hopeful-looking guy to concerned-looking guy: Basically, you're not ready to be an alcoholic, so you should stay away from alcohol.
–Polk St
Girl to guy friend: She's a great drunk. She's probably one of the best people to hang out with when she's drunk.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: T
Hawker: It's happy hour! Come on up, and I'll watch your kids while you get drunk.
–Planet Hollywood
Girl, during lunch: I'm not drunk anymore!
–W 4th & University Place
Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up.
–4 train
Overheard by: Leora
Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that.
–Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row
Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel.
–Broadway & 104th
Little girl: Mommy, my ears hurt!
Mom: That’s your third strike! I said stop!
She hits her daughter.
Little girl: That didn’t hurt.
Mom: I will kill you right now, don’t tell me that didn’t hurt.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Zeve
Little boy: Daddy, I gotta pee!
Dad: Son, we're in Central Park, everywhere is a bathroom.
–Central Park
