Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.
–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington
Man: So, whatever you want to do, I’ll do.
Woman: But…
Man: I’m fine doing whatever makes you happy.
Woman: But that’s stupid.
–Starbucks, 87th & Lexington
Young thug in crooked baseball hat to female friend: No, everyone should have the right to love Tom Cruise.
–41st & Lexington
40-something Midwest tourist to 40-something friends: Yeah, this is where Miley Cyrus was staying. (points to Sheraton hotel, friends gasp in excitement)
–53rd & 7th
Tourist son to mom: Let's go to the park and watch Jerry Seinfeld play softball.
–67th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Q
Random guy outside on corner: Yo, I just saw Phil Donahue. I just saw him walking down the street… (starts to sing in Cops theme song style) Whatchu gonna do when Phil Donahue comes for you? (pause) Yo, Phil Donahue is a crazy motherfucker!
–Astoria Boulevard, Queens
Girl on cell: Yeah, but I tower over him when I wear heels…and I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to be Katie Holmes to his Tom Cruise.
–33rd & Broadway
Woman: Everywhere I go, I see either someone I know or a celebrity!
–69th & Columbus
Little boy to mother: Oooh…I thought Malcolm X was a singer.
–Flatbush & Beekman
Overheard by: Chelsea
Chick #1: I have never been in love! Never never ever! Can you believe it?
Chick #2: Really? Wow! Well, look what’s out there.
Chick #1: I know! All the good ones are married, all the cute ones are gay, and the rest look like Shrek! All I want to do is meet a really sweet nice guy whos gorgeous and musical and creative and sweet like Jack White! Oh my god, he’s a god!
Chick #2: That White Stripes guy that punched someone out?
Chick #1: Yeah, he’s my idea of a perfect guy! God I love him!
Chick #2: Look! I got chocolate!
Chick #1: Yeah! Chocolate!
–Otto’s Shrunken Head, East Village
Thug #1, on downtown platform: Yo, I love you, nigga!
Thug #2, on uptown platform: Yo, don't use the “nigga” word!
–6 Train
Lesbian #1: I love you.
Lesbian #2: Do you love me even when we’re like Bert and Ernie?
Lesbian #1: Of course! Wait, who’s Bert?
Lesbian #2: Me. I’ve been so uptight.
Lesbian #1: Great. So you’re the tall, thin, uptight one and I’m the short, fat, stupid one.
–Union Square
Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, JetBlue welcomes you to the city which all other cities are reflections of… welcome to New York.
–JFK
Overheard by: SJK
Pilot over loudspeaker: Alright folks, get into your seats quickly. You don't have to love the person next to you and this ain't a furniture store.
–JFK
Overheard by: Allie
Witty flight attendant: And in case that you have not been in a car since 1962, I will now demonstrate how seatbelts work.
–JFK
Flaming flight attendant: In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. If this should occur, you may scream, then place the mask over your mouth and nose…
–JFK
JetBlue pilot: I hope you all enjoyed the flight. If you have any questions, please e-mail them to the Continental Airlines e-mail. Thank you for flying JetBlue.
–JFK
Overheard by: lonely passenger
Large drunk black guy to black girl sitting down: Girl, you're so pretty, why are you frowning?
Black girl sitting down: Do me a favor, get up out my face.
(two large Hispanic men get up to protect her)
Large drunk black guy: Okay, I'm done…but I love you.
–2 Train
Overheard by: jj is sober at 10am
Young gay guy, crying: But I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Old gay guy: They why did I catch you with Robert*'s dick in your mouth?
Young gay guy: Well, he is my boss…
–Soho Grand Hotel
80 year-old Italian teacher: You like fluorescent colors a lot, yes?
Girl: Yeah, I love them. They're great.
80 year-old Italian teacher: There are also people who love midgets. I know. It's an unfortunate love.
–Cooper Union, East Village
40-something woman #1: Look at his little face! Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God.
40-something woman #1: Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Isn't he cute?! Look at him!
40-something woman #1: So cute.
40-something woman #2: On my god! I can't believe how cute he is.
40-something woman #1: He is so cute! His little pink face!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
(pause)
40-something woman #1: Isn't he cute?!?!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God. So. Fucking. Cute.
40-something woman #1: I love him! He's so cute!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
40-something woman #1: I just can't stand it!
–14D Bus
