Young woman #1: Yeah, I'm trying to avoid root vegetables.
Young woman #2: You're avoiding root vegetables?!
–Whole Foods, Bowery
Young woman #1: Yeah, I'm trying to avoid root vegetables.
Young woman #2: You're avoiding root vegetables?!
–Whole Foods, Bowery
Slacker dude #1: I'm the only one at my school who still rolls blunts.
Slacker dude #2: Oh, yeah?
Slacker dude #1: Yeah, they all use joints, but nobody knows how to roll a good blunt. It's like a lost art.
Slacker dude #2: Totally!
–Allen & Delancy
Overheard by: Kyle
Drunk girl on date: You're not going to be allowed in my apartment tonight.
Lame guy on date: Oh really? Why is that?
Drunk girl on date: Because when I drink, I lose my ambition.
–Lower East Side
College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…
–NYU Dorm
(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?
–Ave B & 7th St
Overheard by: friend of the mole people
Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.
–Staten Island
Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.
–Houston & Mulberry
Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!
–45th & 10th
Overheard by: Drunk
Jewish father: Here, let me zipper your jacket.
Three-year old girl: Hmm… yeah… let's. Yeah, well…
Jewish father: Stop mumbling already. You know no one can understand you?
–Lower East Side
Black dude to friend: Well, check this out my nigga! Cracking your knuckles does not lead to arthritis… Mythbusters, my nigga!
–Park Slope
Black pimp on cell: That nigger ain't even give you a little nigga baby. All that nigga ever do is just fuck you and leave your ass, bitch. You got a child yoself, take care of your real nigga baby, because that's the nigga who keeps with you. That nigga won't fuck any other sluts. (notices everybody's staring at him) What the fuck y'all niggas lookin at?
–Social Security Office, East Village
Would-be feminist: Pussy don't have no power no more, because if it did, niggas wouldn't be doin' what they do.
–Jefferson Ave & Throop Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jocasta Spell
Polish woman, walking up to group of ghetto fabs: Yo' wut up, my niggas? (pounds fist with ghetto fab guy)
–Delancy St
Overheard by: Kirkegaard
Crazy black man on phone: When you talk like that I'm gonna call you the N-word! (pause) Don't talk like that! (pause) I want to have sex with you.
–Murray Hill
Woman on bike to jaywalking pedestrians: Jesus fucking Christ, get the fuck out of the road.
Guy: Fuck you, bitch! (to friends) Did I just say “fuck you, bitch” to a biker?
–Rivington & Essex
Old dog lady, smoking: Me, I've already been spayed.
–Dog Adoption Booth, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PrairieSquid
Old woman to another: Darling, I didn't know your husband was still alive!
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Elderly black woman, yelling to line of cars honking their horns for Puerto Rican Day parade: Get yo punk asses back to 5th Ave!
–Grand & Graham
Elderly woman, complaining to physical therapist: I keep walkin' like I'm drunk (pause) Cause I am drunk.
–12th & University
Overheard by: tbs
Old lady, after being knocked down by man on bike: You know what… Go to hell! (giggles to herself) I haven't said that in a looong time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: letthesunshine
Woman in Santa Claus costume, looking lost: Excuse me, honey, do you live around here?
Girl: Yeah.
Woman in Santa Claus costume: Do you know where there's a bar called Johnson, or Hold My Johnson, or something?
Girl, laughing: Johnson's? It's right across the street.
–Rivington St
Overheard by: hahahaha
Girl with camera to group of friends: No, get in front of the train tracks so I can take a picture!
Friend: We look like such tourists.
Girl with camera: No, I swear, if I lived here, I'd take pictures all the time.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Benny
