Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
Greenpeace guy: It's never good to idolize someone who died hanging himself and jerking off.
Oregon State University
Overheard by: David
Guy to stranger: Is it just me, or is that guy jerking off to Pac-Man?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl browsing underwear section: I love this bra–you'd wear it just to play with yourself, you know?
Wiltshire
England
Overheard by: J
Blonde American student: For some reason, when I get high I get paranoid that everyone around me is jerking off!
University of London
England
Overheard by: The Friend
Male hipster to another: So, I was jerking off into this vagina…
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: DagnyTaggart
Student girl: And then these tramps started wanking off outside my window!
Manchester Aquatics Centre
England
Overheard by: Noo
Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!
Starbucks
New Mexico
Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: red
Woman to man: I mean, you could have masturbated with one arm, come on.
UMass
Massachusetts
