20-something woman to 20-something man: You were thrown out because you were always creeping around all those women on the fourth floor.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
20-something woman to 20-something man: You were thrown out because you were always creeping around all those women on the fourth floor.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Man: Lesbians aren't born. They're grown.
–Luxia, . 48th St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Man to girl leaning over to pick up her bag: Hey baby, watch what you're doing! You got your ass all up in my face.
Girl: I didn't see you.
Man: Don't tell me you didn't see me. I'm 215 pounds. How could you *not* see me?
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Cat
Guy on cell: You start dating married women, you end up meeting their husbands.
–49th & 6th
Man on cell (guiltless and disinterested): She said I cheated, duh-duh-duh-duh.
–Church St & Barclay
Overheard by: Robert J. Anderson
Female suit on cell: He cheated on me on my 30th birthday in Nantucket and I called my mom to tell her and she said, "Are you ready to give up that lifestyle? He's wealthy and he's gorgeous. I don't want to hear it." But I want someone to be über-attracted to me.
–19th & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Dude on cell: Hello? (pause) I told you never to call me on this number. (pause) Because I don't want my wife to find out that we're dating.
–6th Ave & 17th St
Psuedo-gansta to friend: Yo, I would cheat on my wife except then you gotta buy them flowers and chocolate and shit. I'd rather spend money on my wife and be happy at home.
–N Train
Girl on cell, doing laundry: Yeah…and then he says that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't cheat on her…so I said, "Really? Then what was your penis just doing in my mouth?"
–Laundromat, 9th Ave & 53rd St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
Jamaican woman on cell: Guess what? I don't stalk people anymore!
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy to another: I know where you live. I could totally stalk you.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: fish
Man on corner holding many whistles for sale, wearing multicolored, umbrella hat: Young man, get one for your skateboard. Great for bikers, joggers, walkers, fast talkers and park stalkers!
–59th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Woman on cell: Right, right…I want to show him that's not me: I'm *not* stalking him…I'm *not* obsessed with him.
–West 66 Street & Freedom Place
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
40-something woman to sister (waiting for Daniel Radcliffe to come out after first preview of Equus: Okay, let's go. It's okay. I saw him last week, and I know where he lives.
–Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: ouch, you just elbowed me in the face, bitch
Cheerful man with baby strapped to his chest: Lets all go stick our heads in the microwave!
–77th & Broadway
Overheard by: rachel
40-something man: They just upped my credit limit to $3,500, so on top of the few hundred I have saved up, I guess you could call me a ghetto millionaire… (later) So she's all depressed and wants to kill herself, says she's gonna jump off something. I told her, "Girl, you live in Duluth. You jump off anything there, the only thing that'll happen is you'll break your leg.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: He later used my shoulder as a pillow
Girl on cell: What a fucking selfish bitch. I can't believe she did that. I mean, I know she was like depressed or whatever, but you don't just hang yourself at your ex-boyfriend's house. (pause) No, I'm sorry, you don't just wait for everyone to go to sleep, sneak out, and hang yourself so then everyone has to find you like that. What a bitch.
–Megabus NYC
Overheard by: Tina
MTA employee, in between ordering food: They're all jumping on the tracks now. Everybody's committing suicide. They used to wait until Christmas. Now it's every day!
–Restaurant, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Abbieprime
Hobo: Excuse me, can you spare some change? I'm homeless.
Man: Sorry, I don't have any.
Hobo: But I'm homeless. Did you hear me? I'm homeless! Can you spare some change?
–W 4th & 9th St
Crazy 20-something woman, screaming into cell: But where have you been? (sobs) I've been waiting for you. Where are you? (screaming louder) It's been hours, where are you? Where are you? How could you do this to me? Where are you?
(everyone on sidewalk turns around as she passes)
Man: It is way too early for that.
Woman: Yeah, that's the kind of call you make at 3 am, when you're drunk.
–Taxi Line, Penn Station
Overheard by: Nancy
Homeless guy, giving umbrella to random white girl: This is for you. In case it rains. This (holding up alcohol bottle) is for me. You know why? Because I'm an alcoholic.
–Penn Station
Man to friend, about the Bruce Springsteen concert that night: You know what? If it starts raining, I'm just going to take off my shirt and scream the whole time.
–Penn Station
Girl: We're on an island, it doesn't snow here.
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ang
Vendor: Man, I know why we're having to pee so much! It's because it's colder and our bladders are shrinking.
–Flea Market, 82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: EthanK
Woman yelling to complete stranger: It's not raining anymore! It stopped raining! You're the only one with an umbrella!
–Port Authority
