Girl #1: So, I watched that movie Thirteen the other night. It was awesome.
Girl #2: Yeah, that was a really good movie. The girls in that movie were so mature for 13-year-olds. When I was 13, I didn’t even know what an ovary was!
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Man: That was pretty good.
Woman: Yeah, it reminded me of that movie with the White Witch.
Man: 101 Dalmatians?
Woman: Right.
–Loews Theatre
Drunk NYU kid #1: Hey, sweet dog.
Janeane Garofalo: Oh, thank you.
Drunk NYU kid #2: Bro, that was Janeane Garofalo.
Drunk NYU kid #1: Really? Hey, are you Janeane Garofalo?
Janeane Garofalo: Yes.
–8th & University
Overheard by: persiangroove
Patron: I just saw Dreamgirls.
Pianist: How was it?
Patron: So good it killed James Brown.
–Marie’s Crisis, 59 Grove St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not gonna lie to you — I’m broke, homeless, and I really wanna see Big Momma’s House 2. Please spare some change.
–F train
Overheard by: benny
20-ish chick: Why is Jason Bateman in a movie called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium? This ruins all of my fantasies.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Diner: Yo, ‘hyena’ — I know how that’s spelled. H-Y-H-E-E-N-A. High-heena! I know that shit. I saw The Lion King.
–IHOP, Staten Island
Overheard by: explosivo
Ghetto white girl: She never even saw Breakfast at Tiffany’s until I lent it to her… Tryin’ to act like that’s her shit…
–B train
Young Socrates: Yo, son, Saw II is the ill philosophic reference.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: fival went east
Flight attendant: Attention, passengers, please turn your attention to channel 30. Caddyshack is on!
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Erica: I quickly went to channel thirty
Chick: I feel like I can relate more to retarded people than normal people.
–Broadway & Waverly
Girl on cell: What are you talking about?! She’s intellectually retarded. Hang on a sec, okay? Crap! They don’t have The Da Vinci Code.
–Outside The Strand
Black girl: … And we wasn’t laughin’ at him ’cause he got Down Syndrome… [Chuckles] We was laughin’ ’cause he was mackin’ on us so hard!
–Fordham University cafeteria, Rose Hill
Overheard by: So did the helmet get in the way?
Frat boy: Geez, bro, just when I thought you couldn’t get retardeder…
–Park Row
Overheard by: Passerby
Angry girl on cell: I was trying to tell her that she’s fucking retarded… in a very nice way!
–Fontana’s
Grad student chick: Yoda is not a relative. He’s little and green.
–NYU
12-year-old boy: I’m in a grey area right now as to whether Santa exists or not. I need more evidence.
–E 20th St
Overheard by: Dia
Customer to cashier: Frodo, it’s been real.
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I Am McLovey
Thug: You know what, nigga? I think all them zombies are racist mothafuckahs. You notice they always eat the brotha first? What are we, covered in mothafuckin’ chocolate? Do I look like a fondue fountain? That’s some bullshit.
–189th & Bathgate
Overheard by: Lyle
Hobo, in false British accent: Of all the dimensions in the universe, I had to end up in this one! New York — filthy, dirty, grimy. Greatest city in the world? Bah! I could have been fighting dragons with Merlin, but no! I had to end up here!
–6 train
Chick: When Derek Jeter sees where my new bug bites are, he’s going to go ballistic.
–McDonald’s, 51st & 3rd
Overheard by: Jack
Enlightened film student to dense film student: Y’know, I can’t wait for you to wake up one day, sit straight up in bed with your eyes open wide and realize that Quentin Tarantino sucks ass!
–Borders
Old guy to wife: God, Matthew McConaughey is a fucking faggot. That guy’s been sucking cock since he was born.
–42nd & Broadway
Newspaper peddler: Read all about it! Britney Spears just died! Read all about it!
–Wall St & Broadway
11-year-old girl, leaning on subway pole: I want to jump on this pole like Tila Tequila! She can put her legs up over her head!
–E train, 50th St
Chick: It’s like that movie — what’s it called?
Dude: Stand by Me?
Chick: No, Gummo.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Same thing
Employee #1 sinking dejectedly next to bookshelf: There should be a movie of my life.
Employee #2: That would be the worst movie ever.
Employee #1: Heyyy!
–The Strand
