Man: Wait, so you’re on Law & Order?
Epatha Merkerson: Mm-hmm.
Man: Wow, I don’t watch the show, but my son and daughter do. What’s your name? I’ll have to tell them I saw you.
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epala?
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epasa?
Epatha Merkerson: E-path-a
Man: Ensala? Maybe I should write this down, I’m sure I’ll forget. Emana, you said?
–Dentist’s office, 35th & Madison
Overheard by: Mandy G
Girl: …so I used to buy my drugs from a guy who would keep them in his prosthetic leg.
Guy: You mean his stump? Didn’t that freak you out, having his stump all on your blow?
Girl: No.
–23rd & 9th
Overheard by: jose angel araguz
Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes.
–Canal & Broadway
Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!”
–22nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Erin B
Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven.
–70th & Amsterdam
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Bag lady: Come here! Come here, you fuckin’ bitch! Are you too good to
give your fucking wife a hug? Come here, fucking bitch!
–23rd & Madison
Girl #1: You’re going off the pill? What about STDs and AIDS?
Girl #2: Yeah, and babies!
Girl #1: STDs and AIDS are worse than babies.
Girl #2: True.
–Madison & 26th
Overheard by: K8
Girl #1: …It’s so scary how time flies.
Girl #2: You know what’s even scarier than that?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: AIDS.
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anne O.
Guy: So…did you make any resolutions for the new year?
Girl: Ummm…I had one…but…I forgot it.
Guy: You forgot it? How do you expect to follow through on it if you already forgot it before the new year even starts?
Girl: I think it had something to do with me being neurotic.
–Bamiyan, East 26th Street
Overheard by: Nik G
Hipster girl: I though she was like, moving to Africa or some shit to save the children or something.
Hipster boy: Well that didn’t happen. She moved to Williamsburg to save the trendy from hurting themselves with accessories.
–Happy Valley, East 27th Street
Chick: I can’t apologize for being a bitch…because, like, then I wouldn’t be a bitch.
–23rd & Lexington
Girl: Why won’t that garbage truck move for the ambulance?
Guy #1: Is the garbage really that important? They’re still picking it up.
Guy #2: Pretty soon they’ll be able to dump the body in there.
–Park & 27th
Overheard by: Jimi D
