Lady: Naw. This quarter say Pennsylvania on the back.
McChick: Yes, ma’am. It’s a commemorative quarter.
Lady: Yeah. But it say Pennsylvania. See?
McChick: Yes. Those are the new quarters.
Lady: All right. But if I find out I can’t spend this, I’m bringin’ it back in here.
–McDonalds, 23rd & Madison
Overheard by: Will McLaughlin
WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Drew
Chick #1: Oh my god, that girl just opened her mouth so wide she could swallow the world.
Chick #2: Seriously, I think she just swallowed me. And while I was in there, there were three children with me…and a lhasa apso.
–44th & 2nd
Woman on cell: Caviar? Nigga, ain’t no caviar in Harlem.
–57th & 8th
Man: Wait, so you’re on Law & Order?
Epatha Merkerson: Mm-hmm.
Man: Wow, I don’t watch the show, but my son and daughter do. What’s your name? I’ll have to tell them I saw you.
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epala?
Epatha Merkerson: Epatha.
Man: Epasa?
Epatha Merkerson: E-path-a
Man: Ensala? Maybe I should write this down, I’m sure I’ll forget. Emana, you said?
–Dentist’s office, 35th & Madison
Overheard by: Mandy G
Girl: …so I used to buy my drugs from a guy who would keep them in his prosthetic leg.
Guy: You mean his stump? Didn’t that freak you out, having his stump all on your blow?
Girl: No.
–23rd & 9th
Overheard by: jose angel araguz
Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes.
–Canal & Broadway
Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!”
–22nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Erin B
Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven.
–70th & Amsterdam
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Bag lady: Come here! Come here, you fuckin’ bitch! Are you too good to
give your fucking wife a hug? Come here, fucking bitch!
–23rd & Madison
