Wednesday One-Liners, Just As God Made Them

Gray Line tour guide: … And then I looked up into one of these fabulous brownstone buildings and there was a naked woman. She did a dance for the entire bus. Completely naked. Eye contact and everything. That’s why I never look into windows anymore…

–The Village

Girl to friend: As long as they don’t know that you’re naked, it’s okay.

–68th St

Crazy guy: One… Two… Three… Naked!

–A train

Overheard by: quietly laughing to herself

Man to another: In my neighborhood, once you walk past Avenue A, none of the men are wearing shirts.

–47th & 10th

Overheard by: MuffinPuffin

Man to landlord, in Polish: There is this naked woman and naked man constantly running around the basement at night. We just can’t let this guy keep doing this.

–Nassau Ave

Overheard by: Izabela

Excited chick on cell: I just took my shirt off! In a room full of people talking their shirts off!

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on October 28, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Dancing, Gripes, Nudity, NYC Geography, Only in New York, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Yeah, She Was Mildly Hot

Chick #1: What is your middle name?
Chick #2: I don’t want to tell you.
Chick #1: Why won’t you tell me what your middle name is? I showed you a picture of me naked!
Chick #2: That is so not the same. Your naked picture is on the Internet. Anyone can see it!
Mid-30s guy two seats away: I’m sorry, but what’s the address of that website?

–Bronx-bound A train

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on October 17, 2014
Girls, Internet, Nudity, On the Subway

I Knew You Loved Me!

B&T girl: I am going to ask you one more fucking time and then things between us are over. Give me one fucking cigarette!

Boyfriend takes out one cigarette and throws it on the sidewalk.

B&T girl: Thank you!

–33rd St & Third Ave

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Posted on September 16, 2014
B & T, Grand Central, Nudity, Relationships

Wednesday Drunk-Liners

Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!

–W 88th St

Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!

–Metro-North Train

Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!

–East Village

Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor

Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!

–Poker Game, Astoria

Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY

Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!

–L Train

Posted on September 9, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Bitch-slap, Cleanliness, Couples, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Insults, Names, Nudity, On the Subway, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Before She Starts Stripping Again.

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Posted on August 30, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Film, Kids, Moms, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nudity, Should've Used a Condom

I Won’t Even Let a Stranger Wash My Car

Old lady #1: So, they put you on a slab and the coroner washes your body, like if you were all dirty if you died in an accident.
Old lady #2: They take your clothes off?
Old lady #1: Of course!
Old lady #2: I don’t think I want a strange man looking and washing my cooch!

–Bay Ridge

Posted on August 23, 2014
Brooklyn, Default, Health and Hygiene, Nudity, Offers and requests, Old People, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…Because Then This Day Just Got a Lot More Interesting.

Guy #1, as younger guy walks by in very long dress shirt and shorts: Is he wearing pants?
Guy #2: I certainly hope not!

–54th & 9th

Posted on December 8, 2010
Clothing, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nudity, Queer guys, Wishes & desires

Wednesday Slowly Dropped Her One-Liners to the Floor

Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid.

–Veniero's Pastry Shop

Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse…

–57th St

Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers.

–14th & 6th

Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked.

–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: rick

Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers?

–American Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment

Posted on October 6, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Ass, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Clothing, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Kink, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Museum of Natural History, Nudity, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Store, The Village, Threats, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Wednesday One-Liners.

Father to two toddlers walking with mommy: So your mother offered to take me to The Standard for our anniversary, where we'd pose naked in the windows for all to see. I told your mommy I'm game… Afterwards we'll sell the pictures in Australia, how's that sound?

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: geedee

Hipster, on being mugged: So I'm in the ambulance, but instead of feeling bad about it I took a picture of myself and put it on Twitter.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Girl on cell: Just take nude photos of yourself. Go home. Take off your clothes, stand in front of a mirror, and take pictures.

–23rd St

Slutty-looking hipster chick on phone: My ex boyfriend said that he googled me and found naked pics of me.

–4th Ave & 86th St

Overheard by: bay ridge bitch

Annoying teen girl: He said "You know Limp Bizkit? Well, this is limp dick!" And he sent me a picture of his soft penis and I died laughing on the street!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Wallflower

Posted on September 1, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Families, Girls, Google, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Internet, Kids, Laughter, Moms, Music, Nudity, On Cell, Penis, Pictures, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods

Before She Starts Stripping Again.

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Posted on August 30, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Film, Kids, Moms, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nudity, Parents

Nudity