NYU girl #1: I have to stop sharing.
NYU girl #2: Why?
NYU girl #1: I was about to take my birth control and offer you one.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by:
NYU girl #1: I have to stop sharing.
NYU girl #2: Why?
NYU girl #1: I was about to take my birth control and offer you one.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by:
Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won't work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers!
–53rd st & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Andrew
Professor: I knew the economy was bad when I saw Saks had layaway. Layaway is for Wal-Mart, not Saks!
–NYU Law
Guy on phone with mother: No, mom! I'm not going to walk on Wall St today. (pause) Because I don't feel like getting hit by a falling body, that's why.
–Broadway & John St
Asian metrosexual to friend entering clothing store: No, I wanna stimulate the economy!
–SoHo
Overheard by: Galatea
Cute young professional: I better be able to go into a bar and say, "I have a job, and it's recession proof. Wanna see what my bed and a Magnum condom look like?"
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Lindsay D.
Guy on cell: I'm telling you, when a place like that switches from Charmin to Duane Reade toilet paper, you know the economy is in the shitter.
–Great Jones & Broadway
Professor: You should go to Trump Towers and pretend to be a prospective buyer, and tour the rooms.
Student: Will they pay for my lunch?
Professor: No.
Student: How bout a scone?
Professor: We're in a recession.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Alexandra Bailey
Professor: Not only will I take off points, but I will go and TP your house.
Student: It's a really long drive…
Professor: It's worth it to me.
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
Woman: Shut up! Do you want to end up alone eating a bologna sandwich in the drunk tank?
–Ave A & 10th
Overheard by: Kira
Coworker to office: I love meatloaf. I would wear it on my head like a hat.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: The Secret Newsbunny
Woman getting in cab: Fatty Magoo! I'm going to eat the shit out of some ribs!
–24th & 7th Ave
NYU boy to friends: Wait! I'm looking at the wrong site…there's all different kinds of sausages.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: lollin.
Hobo: I don't like beef, I don't like chicken, I don't like ribs…I like pussy!
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: J J
Conductor: Everyone please step aside at the next stop and make room for fresh meat.
–L Train
Overheard by: ooshua
Girl #1: Are you going away for spring break?
Girl #2: No. I wish I could.
Guy: I'm not. I'm auditioning for that reality show.
Girl #1: Oh, good luck.
Guy: But I'd better get it…I've been sleeping with all of them.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: KMW
Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ross
Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.
–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Holly
Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.
–62nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Richard
Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"
–NYU Dining Hall
Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mark Nilges
Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Chick on cell: Look, there are only two people other than me who can construct a sentence that awesome: Severus Snape and Keith Olbermann, and one of them isn't even real!
–18th & 6th
Middle-aged man on cell: Hey man, guess what. I just saw Harry Potter's magic wand!
—Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Kilfy
Chick on cell: Is he one of Voldemort's friends from high school?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Loud girl to friend: Because seriously, how many real redheads do we actually know? And Ron Weasley doesn't count!
–NYU
IT VP: This guy at work told me the ending to the last Harry Potter book before I read it. So I fired him.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jason E
Guy #1: Dude, I got icy hot on my penis and it hurt so bad that I had to wrap it in toilet paper.
Guy #2: Haha, it's a mummy penis!
–NYU Palladium
Overheard by: Zacharia
NYU chick #1: What's the poverty level anyway?
NYU chick #2: I don't know, like $100,000 a year?
–NYU Dorm
