Older mailman (in AOL voice): You've got mail!
Woman (flatly): Yes.
Older mailman: Like a computer! You've got mail!
–The Village
Overheard by: CS
Older mailman (in AOL voice): You've got mail!
Woman (flatly): Yes.
Older mailman: Like a computer! You've got mail!
–The Village
Overheard by: CS
Old guy browsing power tools: What about a bomb?
Buddy: A bomb? … We already talked about that.
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: Benjamin
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: That's too bad. I don't like to stroll; I like to have a destination.
Caregiver lady pushing wheelchair: Where would you like to go, then?
Impossibly old lady in wheelchair: Bed!
–Prospect Park
Old lady: My grandson Brad and his Jewish wife had a baby.
Old man: That’s very nice. And they’re all doing well?
Old lady: I guess.
Old man: What is the baby’s name?
Old lady: I don’t know. Some long Jewish name.
Teenager: They named her ‘Amy,’ Grandma. Her name is Amy.
–M42 bus
Old man: A-ha! I got it. I want to be with a younger woman!
Guy: No, no you don’t! Why? Why?
Old man: Are you kidding me? Look at them.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!
–Apple Bank, 86th St
Overheard by: hatia
Balding guy: My nuns were into emotional abuse.
Old lady: That’s horrible. That’s what parents are for.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: kathrine
Old man: I like those boots.
Woman: Thank you.
Old man: But not the pants. They don’t work for me.
Woman: No? Sorry about that.
Old man: Yeah, I don’t like the dungarees. It’d look nice if you had a nice blue, deep purple pant suit.
Woman: Oh, you think so?
Old man: Yeah! You like my suit? Yeah, you do. I make it myself. You have to wear colors. I make all my own clothes, because I don’t like machines. No alcoholing, no smoking, no loving. I don’t like machines, I only like people.
–A train
Overheard by: Fashionista
Mom: Well, I’m going to church tomorrow.
Daughter: Say hi to Jesus for me. Grandma, you’re not going?
Grandma: I stopped going when the priest stopped telling dirty jokes.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!
–L Train
Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!
–Deli
Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…
30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!
–Ave B & 3rd St
Overheard by: Mike
Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.
–Astoria
Overheard by: David
