Old man: Give the woman your seat.
Young man: I'm not giving nothin' to no one in a North Face jacket!
–6 Train
Overheard by: DrNels
Old man: Give the woman your seat.
Young man: I'm not giving nothin' to no one in a North Face jacket!
–6 Train
Overheard by: DrNels
Elderly female employee, out on smoke break: So I met this gentleman at the coffee shop the other day.
More elderly woman: How do you know he was a gentleman?
Elderly female employee: I don't, but I sure hope he's not.
–CVS Pharmacy
Conductor yelling in Indian accent: Please get in the train, it's not that crowded. (door closes and opens again) Get in the freaking train, it's not Mumbai, there is space, and keep you limbs inside the train, please!
–E Train
Overheard by: Ting
Loud man as doors open on a packed rush-hour train: What you need to do is…put out your hand and say, "no, you will not fit." And then, if that don't work, take your umbrella, and open it up.
–4 Train
Seated woman to older lady leaning over her: Lady, back your fupa up!
–F Train
Overheard by: pwolf
Conductor: This train is tooo crowded, folks. There is another train behind us that looks just like this one. Take a look at this train, then wait for something that looks just like it.
–6 Train
Little tourist boy: There are more people in here than in all of New York!
–Dillan's Candy Store
Old British gentleman: The next train is when?
MTA employee in booth: 11:45.
Old British gentleman: This entire nation is incompetent!
–Grand Central Terminal
Gross older man: Yeah, she was hot but her pussy always smells.
Gross older woman: Mine never smells…unless I pee on myself.
–Staten Island Ferry
Dude on cell: I have meningitis! I have SARS! (several people look at him in concern) That's what you tell them! Just get out of doing it somehow!
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Momentarily Panicked
Irate old lady on cell: What are you talking about? She's supposed to be taking the train. (pause) What? The flu? Tell her to shove it up, I'm getting really sick of this. What kind of flu? Does she have diarrhea? A fever? Is she sneezing, coughing?
–W 66th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Woman to husband: Deaf people can't hear.
–MoMA
Whiny preteen: Mom, I have diabetes. I'm not even playing around right now–I have diabetes.
–Marquis Theatre
Overheard by: Just here to see the show…
Girl on phone: I don't think I have rabies…do you think I have rabies?
–Columbia University
Dunkin' Donuts employee, sneezing near donuts, to customer: Don't worry, I work better when I'm sick.
–Dunkin' Donuts
Old lady being pushed into the train: Young man, you are crushing my package.
Young man: Lady, you're crushing my package, too.
–1 Train
Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore!
–Midtown
Overheard by: SH
Old man #1: You've seen that guy at the deli. You see behind the counter? The guy's only wearing one glove. Now you can't do all your work with one hand, can you? The lord gave you two for a reason.
Old man #2: Only one man can do magic with one glove. That's Michael Jackson.
Old man #1: And his magic done run out.
–M10 Bus
Overheard by: Alexandra
Older man: Oh, really?
Younger, athletic man: Yeah, yeah. It works. You know, you…your body type, you want to eat meat. You know, for every pound you weigh, you should eat a pound of meat a day.
Older man: You're an idiot.
–92nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: P. Marino
