Panhandler, singing “Here Comes the Sun” as he walks through the train: Please give me some money!
Homie: Dude, you need to be on a downtown train! We's poor on the uptown train! You on the wrong fucking train.
–1 Train
Overheard by: trixx117
Panhandler, singing “Here Comes the Sun” as he walks through the train: Please give me some money!
Homie: Dude, you need to be on a downtown train! We's poor on the uptown train! You on the wrong fucking train.
–1 Train
Overheard by: trixx117
Hobo: Can you spare some change?…Hey, could I have another one?
Man #1: What? Another dollar? I already gave you one; fuck you!
Man #2: Now that’s what I call an ungrateful motherfucker.
–6 train
Overheard by: Rita E.
Chick: Last night’s blind date was so boring.
Guy: Oh, yeah?
Chick: I was so bored I got drunk, but my hair caught on fire from the candle on the table.
Guy: Oh my god!
Chick: I didn’t know my hair was ablaze when he threw water on me, and I was like, ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’
–D train
Flygirl #1: My brother was like mad drunk when his lady went into labor. He was gonna beat up these guys that were messing with our little brother, but he didn’t have his gun. He passed out but his friend got his ass to the hospital.
Flygirl #2: He gonna be such a good daddy.
Flygirl #1: Yeah.
–2 train
Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.
–G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Ian Robertson
Guy: Let me ask you something: A lady sits down next to you on the train and you keep inching towards me. Why? When a lady sits down, you inch towards her, not me! Why are you inchin’ towards me? What’s wrong with New Yorkers, all scared of women?
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Overheard by: Alana C
Little girl to her mother: You know what is ironic? That sign says, "Learn English."
–Downtown 6 train, 42nd St
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?
Black chick: Yo, you shoulda talked to that nigga at church.
Friend: You ain’t supposed to say ‘nigga’ — it’s African-American month.
–Q train, Prospect Park stop
Overheard by: Jude
Hobo: Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not hungry or sick, I just need some money so I can get high, but it’s just weed, I don’t do heroin or cocaine or any of that shit.
Guy: You know, it’s because of guys like you that people think pot should be illegal! Look at you! When I get high, I pay my own way! I earn my own money and get high! There are little kids on this train! What do you think they’re going to learn? Man, think a little!
–4 train
Overheard by: Alice S.
