“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”

Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: stephie

Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.

–Starbucks

Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.

–Hudson & Varrick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.

–E Train

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!

–NYU

Overheard by: George

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Apologies, Facebook, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Love, Men, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Promiscuity, Sex, Sexuality, Starbucks, Students, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners and the Law Of the Harvest

Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?

–7th Ave & W 18th

Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?

–4 Train

Overheard by: DCBX

Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!

–Middle school, Coney Island

Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."

–Gramercy

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Colors, Coney Island, Death, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Hipsters, Insults, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, School, Teens, Trees and plants, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Are Confirmed Bachelors

Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.

–SVA George Washington Dorms

Overheard by: Nicole

Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?

–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.

–Broadway & E 7th

Overheard by: Jon A.

Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.

–A Train

Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!

–6th Ave & 13th St

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Comebacks, Death, Dildos and Vibrators, Drugs, Elevators, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Nostalgia, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg

The Beatles Movie That Was Too Bizarre, Even for British Audiences.

Daughter to mom: We can save on a hotel room if Steve* and I sleep in the same bed.
Mom: You're not sleeping in the same bed as your brother! That's insect!
Steve: It's okay, we have spray.

–C Train

Overheard by: Sean

Posted on June 29, 2010
Brothers, Families, Family Ties, Incest, Insects, Moms, Money & Class, On the Subway, Weirdness, Words

Jesus Wept.

Girl #1: I have a 19.5% rate on my credit card, I don't know what that means.
Girl #2: I thought students didn't need to pay any interest.

–6 Train

Overheard by: DanInTheCity

Posted on June 27, 2010
Girls, Money & Class, On the Subway, School and studying

At Least She's Stopped Barking.

Woman to girl crumpled on the floor, shaking: You okay?
Girl: Yeah… Yeah.
Woman: I like your dog.
Girl: Yeah… Yeah…
Woman: Yeah, my friend Chris got like 20 of them.
Girl: 20 chihuahuas?
Woman: 20 of them.
Girl: Fuck! Shit!… Fuckshit!

–L Train

Posted on June 27, 2010
Compliments, Girls, Insults, Man's Best Friend, On the Subway, Women

For That, and for Wearing Those Horrid Tasseled Loafers.

Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Glory

Posted on June 26, 2010
AIDS, Cancer, Death, Fag Hags, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys

Wednesday One-Liners Sharpen Their Elbows

Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?

–Times Square

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.

–N Train

Overheard by: Thinking about switching

Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Samantha Chastain

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

–F Train

Posted on June 23, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Conductors, Girls, Guys, Names, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Times Square, Tourists, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Let's Talk About Wednesday One-Liners, Baby

Loud girl on cell: And he was like "we had sex three times, so I owe you an hour of going down on you." And I was like "okay."

–Mount Sinai School of Medicine

Overheard by: Horrified Med Student

Bro to another: Dude, she's practically paying for your train ride to have sex with you.

–W Train

College guys to another: Dude, have you fingered her yet?

–5th Ave

Attractive girl smoking and talking on the phone: Wait! Are you saying you want me to go to your hotel room… right now?

–15th St & Union Square West

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on June 23, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Frat Boys, Girls, Guys, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Because I'm a Rock Solid Attorney.

Slightly vacant suit: If there is a hell, I imagine it's a place where you have to pass nonstop stream of kidney stones for… forever.
Sympathetic friend, grabbing his crotch: Think there's plea bargaining in heaven?

–6 Train

Posted on June 21, 2010
Crime and Punishment, Friends, On the Subway, Private Parts, Religion, Suits

On the Subway