Thugette, calling back friend's toddler: Come here, you drunken monkey!
Child's mother: Don't call her a monkey!
–H&M Fitting Room
Thugette, calling back friend's toddler: Come here, you drunken monkey!
Child's mother: Don't call her a monkey!
–H&M Fitting Room
Boy: Mommy, mommy, I want this! (goes to grab rock candy from bulk candy containers)
Mom: Put that down immediately, it has alcohol in it.
–Dylan's Candy Bar
Overheard by: Ben
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
Woman on phone: Mommy, how many people do you know who have been raped as much as her? None, exactly!
–Midtown East
Overheard by: dtrain
Woman on cell: And I didn't get raped on the subway today! It's always a good day when I don't get raped.
–6th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: that's always good
Teen meathead on cell: Wait what? I can't really hear you. (pause) You got raped? Wait… physically or emotionally? (pause) Both? Shit.
–American Eagle Dressing Room
Overheard by: Alyssa
College bro to friend: Nah, dude, it's even better than a date rape drug!
–East Village
Girl: There are some girls who he would be more likely to rape. She's not one of them.
–Graham Ave
Boy, passing smokers: Daddy, I smell cigarettes.
Dad: I know, it's smelly…
Smoker #1: Daddy, I smell obnoxious children.
Smoker #2: I know, they're smelly…
Dad, leaving: Poopie-heads.
–120th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: smoker
Little girl in line at ATM: Mommy, I liked your hair better when it was gold.
Mother: Gold hair is expensive, honey. There's a recession going on. Don't like mommy's new recession color?
Little girl: Not really.
–106 St & 2nd Ave
Thugette: Hurry up, motherfucker!
Thug: Hey! I ain't never ever fucked my mother!
–40th & 8th
Headline by: subtleglow
Runners-Up:
· “Don’t Be Vulgar, We Made Love!” – lisha dlp
· “See How He Slipped in That Double Negative? Sly…” – funkstar
· “She Has Standards, After All” – Terry B
· “That Makes One Of Us” – John T
Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.
–75th & Amsterdam
Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Steve
Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.
–Hunter
Overheard by: Hakuna Matata
Tween girl #1: My nickname with my parents is “buns”.
Tween girl #2: Everyone in my family calls me “hottie”. But when I get in trouble, I get called by my full name.
–5th Ave & 57th St
Overheard by: Bemused
