Queer #1: Holy cow.
Queer #2: Yeah.
Queer #1: It’s huge. Did you see that?
Queer #2: I saw definition!
Queer #1: Damn.
Queer #2: It’s bigger soft than mine is hard.
–Astoria
Overheard by: L.C.P.
Queer #1: Holy cow.
Queer #2: Yeah.
Queer #1: It’s huge. Did you see that?
Queer #2: I saw definition!
Queer #1: Damn.
Queer #2: It’s bigger soft than mine is hard.
–Astoria
Overheard by: L.C.P.
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
Jacked gay guy #1: I’m feeling a little sick.
Jacked gay guy #2: Have you been eating enough?
Jacked gay guy #1: Well…I think so?
Jacked gay guy #2: Whenever I feel like I’m getting sick, I eat a lot. I just stuff myself like a pig. That way I’m making sure I get in all my nutrients.
Jacked gay guy #1: Oh, yeah, that’s a really good idea!
–Saigon Grill
Overheard by: i’ll have what they’re having…
Ghetto lady on phone waiting for bus: Ugh. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to stick my hands up your ass.
–Hunts Point
Dude on cell: I think he's the same guy who stuck the jar up his ass. (pause) Well, because the camera angle was the same, and the scar…
–108th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk gay man speaking to straight couple: So I'm at the wedding talking to my future cousin-in-law about how it's not gay if he likes things in his ass, and he said that's not his problem, his problem is asking her to cut her fingernails.
–26th b/w 9th & 10th
Female suit on cell: There was something going into that butt, did I not mention that?
–10th & Hudson
Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?
–43rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Anna Rose
Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Henry
Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.
–McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: Keep It Movin'
Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.
–E 4th St
Overheard by: girl named sugar
Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?
–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ashlee
Girl: I always thought she was a cool girl and she kind of intimidated me. I know that makes no sense, because–
Queer: –because she’s a fat lesbian?
–Horatio & Hudson
Overheard by: Shane
Fat chick on cell: Well, it kind of sucks because the subway is
like two avenue blocks away and–
Queer passerby: And there’s no Krispy Kreme in between?
–Astoria
Young queer on cell, laughing: I mean, what is he going to blackmail me with?
–9th & 47th
Overheard by: wondering
Older queer to boyfriend: There's nothing like listening to Bach after having sex!
–W 72nd St, Record Store
Overheard by: I'll have to try that sometime…
(40-something gay guy is looking through a clearance rack of mismatched outerwear under sign that reads "Big and tall active bottoms")
60-something gay guy, yelling: Good luck, dahling, you're in the wrong section. Find where the big desperate bottoms are and try that!
–KMart, Penn Station
Overheard by: RoverUSA
Gay black man to whimpering toddler held by mother: Don't even start with me… Thank the Lord you ain't my kid.
–M15 Bus
Young, good looking gay guy to much older ugly boyfriend: My ex-boyfriend always bought me presents…
–86th St & Lexington
Queer: I should have gotten her number for you, but at the bar last night this woman walked in… She was seriously hot. Like, seriously. And I’m pretty sure the breasts were real.
Friend: But you’re gay.
Queer: Yeah, but I would have considered going straight for her. That’s how hot she was.
–NYU
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Husband to wife: I can't tell if this is a circus or a zoo.
Random gay passerby: Oh my god! It's a zoo!
Wife to husband: Well, I guess that clears that up.
–The Armory Show, Pier 94
