Oh, Did I Say Single? I Meant Breathing

Creepy guy: Hey! Excuse me miss, are you single?
Woman: Umm… why?
Creepy guy: Well, I want to have an interaction with a single woman, but I don't wanna get involved if she has a man in her life.
Woman: Well, in that case, I'm not single.

–Q Train

Headline by: JR

Runners-Up:
· “And I’m Not Really a Woman Either” – NonQ-Train Rider
· “And Then He Resorted to Blasting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” Everywhere He Went” – patticakes
· “How Accountants Get Married” – Safe
· “It’s Like Prom All Over Again” – lisha
· “Shockingly, This Didn’t End the Conversation” – mac
· “Too Bad, ‘Cause I’m Really an Eccentric Millionaire” – PeterG

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 23, 2014
Creepsters, Headline Contest Winners, Marriage, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

What Self-Respecting New Yorker Can’t Distinguish Between a Pothead and a Crackhead?

White trash girl, looking out of bus window: Look at Ed*. He looks like a fucking lumberjack. He needs a shave.
White trash guy: That Ed* -he’s a fucking crackhead.
White trash girl: I thought he smoked pot?
White trash guy: Crack, pot -what’s the difference?
Hipster guy sitting behind them: Excuse me, I’m Ed*’s best friend. He’s definitely a pothead. He never does crack. But he does look like a lumberjack.

–Q54 Bus

Posted on October 23, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friendship, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Hipsters, Insults, On the Bus, Physical appearance, Questions, Weed, White Trash

…No, I Don't Speak English.

Guy: This place has some really cool stuff.
Girl: (silence)
Guy: But I feel like it mainly has stuff for girls.
Girl: (silence)
Guy: Yeah, so do you know any good bars around here?
Girl: (silence)
Guy: Do you not speak English?
Girl: Oh! You were talking to me?

–Bedford Ave

Posted on October 22, 2014
Brooklyn, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Languages, Questions

Sick Passenger on the Bridge Would Be My Bet

Conductor #1: Grand Street next, right?
Conductor #2: What?
Conductor #1: Grand Street is next, right?
Conductor #2: That’s what I said.
Conductor #1: Okay, just checking.
Guy: Watch we stop at DeKalb.

–D train

Posted on October 22, 2014
Guys, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Talking/Convos

And Almost As Stupid As Hot Aaron

Girl #1: I hooked up with Aaron on Friday. It was weird.
Girl #2: Hot Aaron or stupid Aaron?
Girl #1: Stupid Aaron.
Girl #2: Oh, my god, he is so hot.

–MAC Cosmetics, Spring Street

Posted on October 21, 2014
Beauty, Compliments, Default, Girls, Questions, Soho, Store, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Use American Psycho As Porn

Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?

–Park Avenue

Overheard by: SuperVixen

Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…

–Broadway & Reade

Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.

–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens

Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!

–4th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: ris

Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?

–47th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Adrienne

Posted on October 21, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Education, Families, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Homeless, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Office, On Cell, Questions, Street, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Funny, That's What #96B269 Said…..

Excited girlfriend: Hey, are these soap bars?
Disinterested boyfriend: I don't know, why don't you drop one and find out?

–Bath & Body Works

Headline by: Harriet

Runners-Up:
· “And Nine Months Later…” – Junior
· “Dating Ex-Cons Has Its Drawbacks” – Mike
· “Part Of Bloomberg’s “Clean Up the Village!” Program?” – Bobo D Clown
· “Prison Etiquette 101” – Kosi

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 21, 2014
Boyfriends, Cleanliness, Girlfriends, Headline Contest Winners, Questions, Store

New Yorkers Would Do Well to Develop a Command Voice

Obnoxious comedy club promoter: You guys like comedy?
Guy with voice like rolling thunder: No! No! No! (awkward pause) But thanks anyway.
Obnoxious comedy club promoter, stunned: That was aggressive.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Those guys get annoying!

Posted on October 21, 2014
Guys, Only in New York, Questions, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers

Yeah, 25's a Tough Age to Get Through

Trying-too-hard dude: You are so funny I can't believe you're single.
Already jaded 20-something chick: I am a 25-year-old girl wearing a Batman t-shirt to a bar in Soho, is it really that implausible?

–Soho

Posted on October 20, 2014
Age/Aging, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Soho

The Mere Thought Of That Will Haunt My Nightmares

Woman in deli #1: You know who else slept with Micheal Jackson? Corey Feldman.
Woman in deli #2: Who?
Woman in deli #1: You ever see Lost Boys?
Woman in deli #2: Oh right, Corey Feldman…
Woman in deli #2: Wait, which one? There's two Corey Feldmans.

–Delancey & Essex

Posted on October 20, 2014
About Celebrities, Delis, Gossip, Lower East Side, Names, Questions, Sex, Women

Questions